another kind of me

friday, june 5, 1998, 02:09 sometimes you feel the most apart from the people you feel the closest to. coming home tonight, seeing all of them sitting in the living room just having finished a movie, i walked in the door, took one look, and walked into my room. i said hello, but i felt as if i was intruding. i don't know if i was supposed to feel that way, but i did. and that's okay. and i went upstairs and ate my canoli and had some good talking, but i worry then that downstairs would see me as cranky bitter anti-social upset when really that's not the case at all. i've gotten used to being an outsider in my life. it's part of who i am, and part of what i've grown up with. so when i'm in a situation where i can either work to become part of it, or i can sit idly by and remain the outsider, i'm much more likely to stick with the second option because there's much less chance that i'll get hurt. it's a cheap way to live. cheap and safe. maybe i should look for something a bit more interesting in the future. up one | mail | sun | wed | thu