check out
the old stuff

tuesday, october 14, 1997, 02:57

This week has the potential to be a very bad week. I have a paper due at the end of the week that i haven't the foggiest idea how to write. one of those analytical essays. Which i could do. If i knew what an analytical essay was supposed to look like.

Probably not going to fly with this whole "colloquial" style of mine.

we'll see.

Of course the week itself started out well enough.

Had the family come up on sunday to visit and drop of some goodies (mmm... brownies, mmmm... ramen) and just shoot the shit for a bit. That was fun, but it pretty much killed the day, since there was no way that i Was going to be able to get any work done after that.

Today was going to be a really productive day, except for the fact that i spent the bulk of the day email back and forth with a friend (damn you mere) which all started with an email this morning telling me that I slept cutely. Damn this internet.

Which brings me to the evening. Had a theatre board meeting, which was fine, and then went to the rehearsal of a show that's going to be going up soon. Not that i have anything to do with the show directly, but I just figured that I'd see what was going on, since i'm supposed to be one of those caring board members and all of that.

The show that I saw was pretty good. Rough, and it was still a rehearsal. But it was simple, and it was funny at times, and it was pretty much what I would describe as a normal old play. And I couldn't help thinking that it was strange that it was actually chosen by the board as one of the productions to get produced.

My impression was that they would read through it, see that it didn't have anything ground-breaking (like the sacrificing of a large barn animal on stage), see that it just dealt with a boy and his girlfriend (albeit with a twist), and dismiss it as "trite" or "already been done" and not "artistic" enough.

Boring perhaps.

Seems that people look for so much in theatrical productions these days. As if something that doesn't slap you in the face to tell you that it's being deep and meaningful is somehow not quite up to the caliber of a true art piece.

I don't know.

I thought that the show was neat.

yeah. neat. a simple, silly little word. But there aren't enough of those shows out there. Ones where you walk in, watch the show, and leave saying, "wow. that was neat."

No, in order for anything to be important it has to confuse, or disgust, or be absolutely bizzare.

I'll settle for neat anyday.

wednesday, october 15, 1997, 07:55

I've been at this paper for about an hour and a half at this point, and I actually think that I'm getting a handle on it. Problem is, now, that I'm getting tired. I suppose this is to be expected, seeing as I had peeled myself up off of my bed, amongst the frutopia bottles and my text book, at six thirty, only to find myself not very tired and more anxious about the paper than anything else.

Maybe this is the ideal work time. Six thirty, the sky is still dark. And as the hours pass by, the sky starts lightening up, fading from a black to a deep blue, to more of a slate.

At that point i just forgot about the sky and got back to work.

Problem is that I can't see the sunrise this year. Oh well.

Long night last night, and quite unproductive. Actually, for a long night, it ended fairly early. I suppose because it began so early. But it was the source of quite a lot of work being not done. Sitting around in the little magic park behind the math building with seth, talking about life and whatnot.

Finally.

Haven't had a good talk in a long time.

Talking about school, or the futility thereof. I don't know. Thoughts of being fed up with everything, not wanting to be here much longer, but realizing that I really do need this education thing.

Rethinking my future.

I've been saying for as long as I can remember making a conscious effort about it, that I don't want to be a coder. I don't want to sit around all day and hack c++.

And yet.

Strangest things can look appealing.

Maybe I'm just not looking at things clearly, but it might be an interesting way of life. Or maybe not total immersion in coding. Maybe just once in a while.

Maybe I have to go to get an egg and cheese on a croissant. Mmmm... dunkins.

saturday, october 18, 1997, 03:10

It's happening again.

I'm composing entries in my head as i walk around during the day. of course, ineveitably, I end up with crap when i try to remember what it was that i was thinking about a few moments earlier.

It did turn out to be a pretty bad week. (ooh, just moved from the desk to the couch. ergonomics be damned)

Did pretty crappy on a paper i really didn't care about, and taking the course pass/fail also helped matters a bit, but honestly, that doesn't make things any better. Just completely drained right now. Ended up coordinating most of the theatre "evening of one-acts" thing that we're doing this weekend.

Not really sure how that happened, but somewhere along the line, I realized that I was pretty much the only person who was both around and knew what was going on. So all of a sudden i was in charge.

I don't think i've very good at being in charge of things. I can keep things pretty organized, and running fairly smoothly, but i'm not too tactful in my doings. I normally end up offending a few people, at least, becoming rather offended personally, and rather stressed by the time I'm done.

Compound that with the fact that I'm working with theatre (more specifically actors, who, as we all know, couldn't keep their mouths shut to keep flies out), and it's just a nightmare.

(fivr hourxs later he awakens on the couch... goognight)

| home | thoughts | simplicity | mail | me |