another kind of me

Think of them as thoughtlets.
(but what are they really?)

For the week of october 5, 1997

sunday, october 5, 1997, 05:13

Money is silly. I've blown so much money on so little these days. I'm afraid i'm becoming materialistic. I used to hate buying things. I still do, but these days it's a lot easier for me to spend the money to buy these things. Something to do with the fact that it's now my money and not my parents'. Or something.
What brings this up are the two things that are sending the load of my node all to hell. The tape drive is doing a full backup, and the quickcam is updating the webcam image every minute.
Regardless.
Life's going suprisingly well. Hung out with castelle the other night. Him being "artificially" happy and all that. Did some walking around. Ended up doing a lot of walking around. Went down to the pizza place and played centipeed and arkanoid. So cool. In table video games. Only seen a couple in my life. Making life-centipede analogies.
Kinda weird.
Then walked downtown and just walked and talked. And talked more about just random bullshit than i remember talking to anyone recently. It was nice, just being able to walk around, the cool autumn wind. Noticing things in the world that people don't normally notice. Like view of the capitol building from between a set of trees that just framed them perfectly.
or the ...
I'm just too tired to be writing this.
I've had too much fun this weekend. I think that's my problem. Okay, maybe not.
Went to a party tonight since i had to oversee it and be the "responsible" person and all. Which was fine, and there were a bunch of people throughout the night who would watch the space, which meant that i could go off and do other things at time.
And so i left at one point. And when i got back to the party, to resume my duties, so to speak, I was told by one of my friends that while the party was dying down a bit then, it had really been kicking about an hour before.
And all of a sudden I got this pain of "i should have been there." At which point I realized that it wasn't so much that I wanted to actually be at the party. But it was more along the lines of being not there.
I really wouldn't have enjoyed being there. I'm not a big dance person, I'm not a big fan of crowds, and i just wouldn't have gone into i thten.

saturday, october 11, 1997, 17:58

Long weekend.
These entries are getting further and further apart. Why is that? Is it because every time i have the urge to write, the urge to sleep is so much more powerful? Or maybe it's just because honestly, I don't have anything I really feel I need to talk about in here.
Life's been pretty mundane lately. Class. Work. Theater.
Though I have noticed a whole lot of slacking on my part. More that usual. A definite shirking of duties, to the theatre, for one. Maybe I'm just not motivated. Or maybe... I don't know. Maybe nothing excites me any more.
Maybe I'm not enjoying myself here.
Or maybe I've just fallen into the routine, and the routine is just that. It's a routine.
Long weekend.
Everyone's gone. I hear laughter on the street. But there's nobody around here. Seth's not here, mopey as he might be, he's not around right now. Jon's not here, and even though he barely lives here any way, knowing that he's not in town makes it that much more real. Strange, really. I suppose it's just that there's no chance that he could possibly be here.
Not that I feel like I should be doing anything anyway. I mean, yesterday, I got so bored that I went and cleaned my roommate's room. No particular reason, it was just messy, and I couldn't deal with looking at his bed with no sheets on it.
Boy I'm a weird one.
Long weekend.
Slipping by. One day's almost done. Time for me to do some wwork. Time for me to get my ass in gear. Motivation or somethign.
Time for ... something. Nobody's around. No distractions. Nothing else.
Long weekend.