another kind of me

Think of them as thoughtlets.
(but what are they really?)

For the week of august 17, 1997

sunday, august 17, 1997, 02:34

ooh, check it. it's one of those magic times, like 12:34 or something.
Roughly paraphrased from some car commercail: "where'd all the time go? probably into some computer..."
So i'm not exactly sure where saturday went. It really feels like tomorrow's going to be saturday. let's see. went to bed late the night before, woke up at a normal time. correction. was woken up by my father at a normal time. Started running new phone lines in the house. Helped take apart the jungle gym in the backyard, kept running phones.
and that brings us to here. i suppose it was a productive day. did manage to fit some of that email stuff in there somewhere, but most of the day was spent running new phone lines to three rooms. Seems hardly worth it now that i'm done.
taking apart the jungle gym was strange though. for as long as i can remember (which tends not to be very long, but go with me on this one), that "structure," as my cousins liked to call it, has been sitting in my backyard.
vaguely remember first getting it, 13 yers ago. or maybe just remember stories about getting it. Regardless, lots of fun on that.
Seeing who could swing the highest.
Who could jump the farthest.
Finally getting all the way across the bars (you know, those horizontal ladder things that you hang from and swing hand over hand from).
As the years progressed, the structure seemed to get smaller, as did my time with it. Last thing I really remember about it was being on the see-saw in the middle of the winter, having the handle snap off, and having the post holding the handles coming up and smacking me dead in the chin.
Damn but that hurt.
I made my dad leave part of the set still standing. Maybe it'll live out the rest of its years as a trellis.
Though it looks so lonely out there in the yard, without the slide and the ropes and the swings to keep it company.
mmm... swings.

monday, august 18, 1997, 23:34
Saw the funniest news posting today:
Mon, 18 Aug 1997 10:57:23     brown.bboard.general          Thread 4093 of 4093
Lines 2                    Lights On--BYC-702  MD           No responses
xxx_yyy@brown.edu  xxx yyy at John Carter Brown Library, Brown U

Maryland Registration BYC 702  Parked on Brown Street near Wayland
Arch--Your Lights are ON!
So, it's monday night, and i have officially done nothing today. Actually, that's not entirely true. I finished wring the phones in the house, but other than that, all i did was install linux an awful lot. Not that it was entirely a bad thing, it's just that there really was nothing else that i felt like doing.
Everything that I might be doing at this time is just one step closer to me going back to school. And while that's not a bad thing either, it is another thing. It means that i'm not going to see the friends that I've seen over the summer. It means that I have to get my act together and start packing. It means that the days of doing nothing, no matter how boring, are now over, and i'm going to have to start doing... school.
It means that the things that I don't like about school, few in number, to be sure, but there none-the-less, are going to enter back into my life.
It means that I'm going to have to figure out whether these shoes that i bought actually fit, or whether they're going to have to get returned.
It means that the summer is really over. It means that i'm really older. it means that i'm just that much closer to having to deal with whatever it is that i'm going to have to deal with when i get older.
Yes, there is a reason why i didn't do anything today. And no, i don't like it.
wednesday, august 20, 1997, 02:30

A nice end to a nice summer.
basically. Mike goes back to school tomorrow. And though i've spent the last two months with him, basically non-stop, at the show, at work, whatever, it's weird to know that i'm not going to see him again until christmas, or whatever the next break is.
Thanksgiving? something like that.
Don't know if it was like this last summer. Last summer the time we spent together, all of us from high school, was real socializing time. Time away from our repective works. But this time. Different. Mike and I worked together. Russell was off doing his woods thing. So I saw entirely too much of one, and not enough of the other.
And now that's done.
*sigh* it'll be fine though. not a problem. it's just that i'm used to just seeing him every day, that now. wacky. nice thing though. don't really have to worry about losing friends like those. leave for a buncha months, come back, it's like no time has passed at all.
ah yes. so, the ending. of course, as is always the case, waiting 'till the last minute. we set up a linux box to act as a firewall/ip masquerader for the network that he's going to put in his house at school. took too long, but it's finally up and running. cool beans.
Enough of this sentimental bullshit. what this really means is that i now have to worry about getting ready to go back to school. 4 computers, dumb terminal, not to mention stereo, clothes, books, and other random-ass shit. And i have to pack it all into one car. whee.
the end of the summer? not for a long time yet.

friday, august 22, 1997, 01:316

I feel like getting something to eat, but there's nothing down in the kitchen. Guess I'll just do some writing instead.
Really nothing doing today. Stayed inside all day, worked on the room a little more, but mostly just played on the computer. Talked to people, read some news. All that jazz.
you know. i really don't think i did anything today. nothing. kinda disappointing when you think about it. woke up late, and that was the end of it all. of course the only good thing to come out of all this was that doing nothing also includes not watching tv, a big plus in my book.
Well, up to now. watching I Come In Peace, a really awful Dolf Ludgren movie with the guy from Dream On. Not worth describing, except that it's filled with blood and guys and people running around cities blowing things up.
Oh, right, also working on balancing my checkbook. this is going to take the rest of the night. back to work. toodles.
All that, and yet, i feel that my life is strangely complete. I just saw a commercial that uses the word "nutjob" in it. Yep, life is good.
03:14

So, it's times like these, when i look at the clock and it very well could be the middle of the afternoon, but i know it isn't because there's this god-awful movie on about nazis and the jungle and some guy with stubble who reminds me of Charlie from Party of Five (who was, incidentally, on Jeopardy yesterday and sucking pretty badly), that i think to myself that it's either a really good, or a really bad thing that I know castelle.
After all, here I am, enjoying my little suburban life here, the last few days of my summer vacation where the only thing resembling fun around here is installing linux, and maybe cleaning my room, and he sends me this 12 page long email about his jaunts down to the bowels of Providence where he goes to see "the most rocking lesbian band" which happens to be a bnad which i've been listening to since i got my cd player way back (a couple of years after the rest of my high school got their cd players, but i'm not bitter).
hrm, that was a long sentence.
and now the track ball on the laptop is doing wacky things, but we'll let that slide for now.
anyway, his being fucked up is more than i'll ever do in my life, because he grew up in the hood and all, while i spent my days bouncing from one theatre to another. So i get to read about the time that he had, reading what he has to say, wishing he spent more time on it because hell, for all it's worth, coding pretty much sucks.
regardless, i'll be back tagging along in a couple of days now. just like it's been. just like it will be. hell, following a life is almost as fun as living one.
i'm learning.
really i am.