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For the week of August 3, 1997
tuesday, august 5, 1997, 01:09
Been? Oh, ya know. Theatre, and stuff. Show opened on Friday. And since then, I haven't had a free moment. Actually, from before then, I haven't had a free moment, but I would have thought, after the whole "hell week" thing was done, that I might have a little time to myself. But alas. That was not to be.
Friday night show, after getting there early to help mike program some cues and do some last minute cleanup stuff. Party after the show. Interesting. I spent the night on the floor between the couch and the piano.
It just wan't my kind of party. I dunno. Mike was with Savina (and jen, kinda) all night, and honestly, I couldn't connect with them. Couldn't talk to them, had no real desire to.
The problem, I find (often), is that the people that I am interested in hanging out with, learning more about, etc, just aren't interested in hanging out with me. And the people that I really don't care to spend time with seem to attach themselves to me. And I can't get rid of them, because it's not that I don't like them. It's just that I would rather not spend prolonged (or short) periods of time with them.
Damn I'm a bad person.
So Friday was a bust. Not unhappy, mind you. It's just that nothing happened.
Saturday could have been a nice relaxing day, but we had a matinee show. 2pm. Basically got up, ran right to the theatre. Went home after the show for a little bit, then mom and i and mike and his mom went out to dinner together.
Then mike and I hopped into his car and drove to see Godspell Ended up getting lost along the way, being half an hour late, and getting second row center seats. Heh. So everything worked out in the end. A good production, but I was struck by the fact that it was so amateur.
Set, direction, acting, all quite below what I'm used to at school, summer theatre, and even what we had in high school. Not to say the show wasn't good. On the contrary. It was clever, it was fun, and everyone in the show looked like they were having fun. I hope I haven't been spoiled over the years.
I pride myself on having high standards when it comes to the work that I do, especially in the theatre, and it just is out of the ordinary to see a show as simple as the one that I saw.
And after that was a party. We went, realized that there weren't really people there wo we wanted to talk to. Sure, we could make conversations (kinda), but it's a lot more fun if there are people you can hang out with for almost the whole party. Sit around and just talk. But there was really nobody there that I was really interested in hanging out with, so we just left.
(though aparently the party got much better later on)
Just as well that i left, since i fell promptly asleep when i got home.
sleep now.
wedneesday, august 6, 1997, 01:11
So Mike asked me today why I do it. Asked me why I go to sleep so late. Why I do this to myself. Know that I'm going to be tired in the morning. What's the point? I dunno. This time, to myself. With my computer.
It's my time, and I feel cheated if I don't get it. The daytime, there are always "other" things to do. But the night. Night time is time I can spend in front of my computer. I don't feel badly if I don't spend the time doing something else, because there's really nothing else to do.
A productive day, I believe. Did a whole bunch of terminations, had a fairly productive meeting, and showed off some web work that I did. Might even help me with this job, be able to keep it through the school year. Do stuff remotely.
Maybe.
After work, was going to go listen to the cast do the recording for the show, but ended up having a run. Pretty much pointless since they didn't have costumes, mics, or the projections on the back wall. Nor did we have a stage manager or follow spot ops.
So it was fun in that "i'm not really working so let's do it half-assed" kind of way. But I was hoping to do some reading and listed to them sing, so it was a bit of a let-down.
Went to the diner afterward, of course. Now that was fun. Also went Sunday night. Much more fun, I find, than going to a party. The parties that I end up going to, first of all, everyone seems to already know each other, which is pretty bad for an introvert such as myself.
That, coupled with the fact that body shots just don't sound like my idea of a good time, make for some situations that I'd rather just not be in.
I don't know if that's entirely true, though. Part of me waants to deal with the fact that I don't do well at parties and to just forget about it. The other part, on the other hand, wants me to get off my ass and have some fun. Even if it kills me.
Things always turn out okay though. I always end up having some fun, in some flavor or another. How I get there may not be the way I set out to, but it all is fine.
After all, I wouldn't keep coming back to this lifesyle if it didn't do anything for me.
Oh that silly theatre.
Really have to stop this. 4:00? And I have to be up in a couple of hours. But, the connection was still alive when I woke up, so I figured I'd do some writing now.17:06Regardless. Week's blowing by way too quickly. Show tonight, then two tomorrow, and that's it. Or, to think about it another way, work tonight, and then one more week and that's it.
There's no getting around it. My summer is coming to an end. Time for me to repack those boxes that have been sitting in my room all summer. Those "I'll clean them up next week boxes. Yeah, that's right, it's time for everything that I wanted to get done over the summer to peek out at me and remind me that yes, indeed, i did neglect them for this long and that no, I really didn't do anything that I wanted to.
Ah, there's always time for it up at school, right?
At work, and I actually feel like I have some time to take a break. I probably don't have this time, but I figure that I've been here all day, and I actually got something big done today, so...That project I was all excited about earlier in the summer and have been ignoring now coming on two months or so. Yeah, the cgi stuff. Well, I've actually been working on it the past few days, working with cgi, then trying to get cgi up on the NT box (which is harder than it should ever be to install a perl interpreter), and finally doing some html stuff.
All in all, a rather enjoyable few days. I just can't see any more because i think the refresh rate on this monitor is a little out of wack and everything in windows is white and I'm used to green on my desktop, so...
But regardless. The summer's winding down quickly. I end work a week from today. By then I have to have everything done, or at least documented. And that gives me time to pack for school and do some stuff with people around here before we all go our separate ways.
Each year, I seem to lose more and more people.
While I've spent about 12 hours a day with mike through the summer, Russell's been... away. First up at camp, then home, but we were at work. Now, coming to the end, and he's up in the woods again.
Not going to let myself lose another friend to time and distance.
Along those lines, with everyone else back at school, it's getting lonely at home again. Knowing that every one's there and I'm here. Of course going back means school, and that's no fun at all, but there's a good and a bad to every situation.
Right?
Before I bore myself to death...
saturday, august 9, 1997, 02:10
It's probably just as well, since I can't keep my eyes open now.11:52...
Ummm... okay. That was weird.
I suppose I was more tired than I thought as it's now 7:40 am and I was just awoken to my father telling me that my alarm was going off. I must have passed out, gotten into bed and set my alarm, all in my sleep.
A bit scary really. I've got to stop doing that.
So yeah, i guess it was just as well that I didn't go to the cast party last night. We were all ready to go, Mike and I. All psyched, ready, gonna have fun. All that.
But then it turns out that two of the girls on the stage crew, and the only two people who would have actually spoken to us at all, weren't going. So, rather than spend another night out with people who wouldn't notice us anyway, we decided to go home instead.
Yeah.
Just as well.
I've got to stop falling asleep like that.
*shiver*
And finally I get to tackle the things that I should have been talking about this whole time, but didn't get to because I keep falling asleep...*kick*
Strange relationship things come back at you, when you're least expecting them. Case in point. I got email the other day from a friend of a friend who just happened to stumble upon my page. A few days later, I get a note from jon (who's still up at school)...
aww, hell. This isn't working.
Where the hell did all of my words go? 'Course this all ties into that losing friends thing. Yesterday, at the show, I saw a friend of mine who I hadn't seen in, a couple of years or so. At least. Worked on a show together at the theatre where I used to work.
She was only 13 (or something like that), and all the guys there were lusting after her. Regardless, I saw her again last night, we spoke for a bit, saw how things were going, and then she left again.
Now, there are a few ways I can look at this. First of all, I hadn't seen her in a couple of years, and then bang, out of nowhere, we run into each other again.
Cool.
On the other hand, here's a friend who I haven't spoken to in a couple of years, and probably will never see again. And I guess that's the nature of theatre, but still, makes me realize just how ... (word word word, there's a word in here somewhere) ... wacked out (no, that's not it, but it'll have to do) ... life is.
To have people stumble in and out of your life, each and every day, some will be gone in a heartbeat,
some you have pictures of tucked away in a drawer in your desk, only to look at them a couple of years down the road and wonder what the heck happened to them, only to have them show up at one of your shows,
and some will be with you for the rest of your life.
Sorting out who's who is the tough part. Then again, does it really matter?
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