Nobody understands.They'll all just say that I'm complaining. Again. Always. Talk talk talk. It's hard to think when people are talking all around you. I have a severe inferiority complex. Around everyone. Even people I don't know. I can feel inferior to them.
People sitting around me. Talking about how dumb everyone else is. "They just don't understand, they're all dumb" they say. "Ha ha" I say, all the while thinking to myself, oh, wait, I'm dumb too. That's no fun. They're all cool, I'm so dumb. I'm nothing. I don't matter. People. Laughing. Smiling. My expense. Look at me, I'm different. I'm cool. Hey. Look at him. He's not [blank]. He's [fill in the blank]. Of course they really don't say that. It's all in my head.
But even in my head it pains me. Everyone else has something. Something that other people envy them for. He's so creative. She's so smart. He's got such good ideas. She's so good looking. What about me? What do I have? I'm sick of being surrounded by smart people. How the hell am I supposed to compete. I'm not all too creative (as can probably be witnessed by these pages). What am I good at? Theatre, perhaps. But that really doesn't help me in real life. In dark corners, I'm fine. In the real world. No. Doesn't help me much. Everything I do can get turned against me. I say something. Look, he's an idiot. I do something. Gee, that's dumb. Everyone has the witty come back. I'm stuck being a dumbass (for lack of a better word). Anything you can do I can do better. It's always a battle. What's the point.
I can't fight 'em. I can't join 'em.
Stuck in the middle with nowhere to go.
I guess I'll go to sleep. I'm safe in my dreams. Or not.
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