Tomorrow night is halloween night. And I'm probably going to be stuck at home again, watching a movie. Or i'm going to go out to a friend's and watch a movie. Or I'll go and show a movie. Or something.
But anyway, it's going to be Halloween night. What does that mean to a college student? And more importantly, what genius scheduled parent's weekend on the same weekend as Halloween? Regardless, I seem to have very little to look forward to, come friday night.
Just an observation, really. The thing is, i can't really think of anything that I would really like to do.
I'm thinking back to high school. Didn't do much of that social stuff in high school either. Stayed at home. Watched tv. Did work in the theatre. A lot of theatre work. A lot. But not much real socializing. And i think that's my key problem.
I don't know how to be social. Don't even get me started on social graces and tact and all that. I'm just talking your basic sitting around Denny's shooting the shit at 2 am. I mean i guess it didn't help matters much that I didn't have a Denny's around to hang out in, but you'd think that i would have done something to turn myself into one of those socially adjusted human beings. Or adolescent, at the very least.
Unfortunately, that really didn't hold very much importance to me. As I think back on weekends past, and i'm talking pre-college here, i really don't see very much. Narrow that down to Halloween, and I see even less. I see myself, in grey sweat pants, and a grey sweat shirt with the hood pulled up over my head and a grey piece of cloth covering my mouth, with a plastic sword strapped to my back. Carrying my plastic pumpkin around, i went trick or treating with a couple of friends of mine. And then i would come back home and split up the candy with my sister and an all out barter session would take place (since inevitably we would both want all the same candy).
That lasted a couple of years. And then, I don't know when, it all stopped. There was really no reason to go trick or treating any more. I just got too old. But it wasn't just that. I didn't have people to go with. It was a social scene that i didn't have any part of. When kids got too old to go searching for candy, they would go out with eggs and shaving cream. And I always wanted to go out and fuck shit up, but I didn't know anyone. And i certainly wasn't going to go out on my own.
And now, here I am, realizing that tomorrow night is going to be like most Halloweens in recent memory, and realizing that there really isn't anything i can do about it. And, for that matter, not really anything I feel like doing about it. Because really, if you don't have anyone to have fun with, then there really doesn't seem to be any point. And, right now, as i sit here writing this, all my roommates gone and the soundtrack to The Crow playing, there doesn't seem to be anyone that I would want to be with.
Being alone is no fun.
Not being alone can be even worse.
On the other hand, maybe I'll go out and egg me some parents.
Who knows, that might be fun.
Heh.
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