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Friday August 04, 2000, 00:21

One year and about fifteen minutes ago, give or take some time, I was sitting in an apartment that wasn't mine (either on the Upper West Side or in Battery Park City, both of which are in New York City and both of which seem preferable to where I am right now, to some extent) watching cable and comparing cartoons on MTV. Compare and contrast that with my situation now which finds me in an apartment that is mine, that is not in New York and in which I do not even have an antenna for my television (topped with vcr and incense) let alone cable. And last night I was taking part (at least peripherally) in part of a live MTV extraveganza. So, if we examine my life now and my life then, it is a series of compromises with the common thread of the voice of my generation. So to speak.

This should frighten me to no end.

I find myself getting more and more irritated with my coworkers these days, which is unfortunate for both me (as I don't like getting irritated at people as it's a waste of my time) and for them (because I can be a realy asshole when that happens). However, I really dislike when people check their brains at the door when they leave the house in the morning, and to me, interrupting with incessant blathering about shoes and yogurt tends to fall under that category for me. Interrupting is also pretty bad, and while I have been known to interrupt people a fair number of times (during the course of a conversation, not just in my life, in case there was any confusion), I generally do so under the guise of having something useful to contribute to the conversation rather than just bounding in with a hearty "HUH?" or perhaps a statement having nothing to do with the conversation at hand1.

And this piled on top of the fact that I am not happy with decisions that have been made recently regarding my work and am working hard to correct them to my liking2 make for an even more unbearable environment in my opinion, and one where I am contributing to the overall dissatisfaction. It is important to note that I do not know whether this dissatisfaction is actually apparent to the rest of the company or if it is simply in my mind as morale seems to still be rather high. Interesting to realize that the question "What do you find intersting about this company?" was actually posed today, either as a legitimate question or perhaps as a gague to see just what people are feeling.

Unfortunately, I am not feeling much of anything right now, and I have few throughts for this, my anniversary entry. So I will now save this file and post it, but perhaps come back to it later if I have a particularly compelling dream or if a woman decides to come to my door and proceed to tell me that she is in love with me and would like to, as a gift, give me a massage. I would write about that, most likely.

I did make one big change in my life today, however.

I filled my soap dispenser tonight when I tried to wash my hands after eating dinner (and watching the taped season finale of Buffy3) and found that there was just no more soap in the dispenser. I pressed down on the pump and was greeted with spurts and sputters. It was getting unbearable so I reached under the sink and refilled the dispenser. The next step? Buy more soap from the drug store.



1. As always happens when it comes time to complain about people I forget the actual example of the thing that got me all riled up at work. Mostly they are things that make me roll my eyes back in my head, sigh and perhaps even throw my hands up in the air silently mouthing to the sky "why oh why are you doing this to me?" as the words "I think that I like cheddar this week" reverberate through the office. This is not an exact wording of the interruption, but it comes fairly close in terms of relevance to the situation.

2. The solution to which seems quite obvious. The execution of which is less so.

3. Don't say it. Whatever it is, I don't want to hear about it.

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