[astigmatic much?] pith.org content, daily-like
most recently
archive

Tuesday April 25, 2000, 15:10

I had a particularly lovely lunch today consisting of some particularly crappy food from KFC. really though, the food wasn't what made the experience. what made it so wonderful was that, for the first time since i left new york, i ate lunch outside.

i sat on the loading dock outside the office, a converted plastics factory. not the side of the building with the dumpster next to the dock and the dock covered by a roof-like structure. no, i sat on the other side of the building, with the smaller dock, and no roof, and the dumpster on the far side of the parking lot. sprawling out in front of me, through a chain-link fence, lay the Stop&Shop parking lot. The back of the parking lot no less. above me, the road going over the mass pike, and to the right of me, railroad tracks and the pike itself.

but overhead, way over the building with the cell transmitters and the billboard for Yet Another Dotcom (or was a Beer ad?), the sky was blue with just a haze of fluffy white clouds. a coolish breeze passed over me, but i was almost tempted to enjoy my chicken strips sans coat.

little plastic bags fluttered by, reminding me just what a shithole it is that i live it, but it didn't really matter. the bags curled up next to me like little kittens and i was forced to shove them away.

"sorry kitty, no time to play today."

but what really made it happy for me was the sense of, what was it? freedom? playfulness? something. on way way to get food, a hunk of wood sat in the middle of the sidewalk. it was probably used to denote a parking space at one point but now it just lay there, blocking my way. i approached it, we faced off. and i took one step on it and lept over it.

it made me smile.

not much makes me smile these days.

i miss having things to care about. you know what i did today? we had a meeting at work. a staff meeting (i insisted) and i presented my vision of an Organizational chart for the company. in the future. you know, growth plans and whatnot. we currently are waiting for more money. it's very hard for me to be planning these things. it's not that i really don't want to, or that i'm particularly bad at it.

both of which are true statements.

the problem remains that i'm not creating. i'm not producing. i'm not making things that people will like using. i'm not even making anything that people won't like using. i'm just making things that will make people think that we're going to be making things that people are going to be using.

does this make any sense?

it doesn't really make sense to me either. i think that's the problem.

19:46

issue du jour: he actually used the term "another sucker in the chain" when talking about one of the positions in the hiring plan that i'm using as a guide for the org chart. this should worry me. wasn't this why i left my other job?

[ permanent link ]

[ email love | your love | consumer love ]

------------------

search the past

remember the past

1999
    aug 04 05 06 08 09 11 12 15 17 22 26 30
    sep 01 03 07 12 20 28
    oct 04 14 18 22
    nov 02 07 12 19 25 26 27
    dec 12 15 18 28 31

2000
    jan 02 06 11 12 18 29
    feb 03 10 14 17 21 23 28 29
    mar 05 06 20 22 25 26
    apr 02 05 06 08 09 10 12 13 17 20 21 24 25 28 29
    may 03 05 08 11 12 15 17 17b 18 18b 21 23 25 29 30 31
    jun 01 01b 03 06 07 08 10 13 14 16 18 21 23 25 30
    jul 03 06 09 10 13 16 26
    aug 02 03 04 08 10 17 21 25 29
    sep 06 07 12 13 18 24
    oct 06 11 12 19 30 31
    nov 08 11 22 26 30
    dec 01 10 14 21 30

2001
    jan 01 09 14 16 30
    feb 11 15 20 22
    mar 06 08 09 21 25 30
    apr 01 04 05 09 13 18 23 24 25 28
    may 04 09 11 14 16 17 21 25 31
    jun 02 08 20 21 28 29
    jul 07 13 17 28
    aug 14 24 26
    sep 09 12 23 24
    oct 10 26 28 31
    nov 11 17 18 28 30
    dec 02 08 15 18 26

2002
    jan 03 07 08 18 20 23
    feb 04 05 17 19 22
    mar 06 10 13 15 17
    apr 13 16 19 26
    may 03 13 16 21
    jun 08 15 21
    jul 03 05 10 18 24
    aug 03 18
    sep 11 20
    oct 03 05
    nov 10
    dec 30

2003
    jan 19
    feb 04 14 27
    mar 10 23 31
    apr 11 15
    may 26
    jun 16 29
    aug 17
    sep 15
    oct 08
    nov 30
    dec 11 24 28

2004
    jan 06 23 30
    feb 01 21
    mar 04 09
    apr 15
    may 02 10
    jul 03
    aug 02 16 30
    oct 04 17
    nov 28
    dec 28

2005
    jan 03 24
    mar 24
    may 28
    aug 01 10
    sep 03
    oct 12 28
    dec 25

2006
    jan 01 07 16
    feb 02 13 28
    mar 12 13
    apr 17

other things to look at

back home