I'm sending myself down farther and farther down this road of depression and I really don't know how to stop it. It'll probably get better when I get back to school. In fact, I'm sure of it. Once I get away from this damn tv. Putting all these thoughts in my head. What is it doing to me?I see people, on tv, happy people, people in love, people whose lives all end up all right for them. For of course all I ever watch are those shows/movies that'll make me all depressed. I can't ever watch anything funny. Well, that's not true. I do, but everything seems to be ...
There's a star outside my window right now. Twinkling. Looks like an airplane. With its landing lights blinking at me. But it's not. It's just a star. Which may have burned out millions of years ago. But that's its problem.
My problems are a bit more shallow. Like what the hell am I doing right now? Why is everyone else happy? Now I can't really be thinking this, because all I have to do is look around me and I see that indeed everyone isn't happy. But it's this late night depression thing, mixed in with the fact that I'm now suffering a mid-school crisis thing that leads me to believe that, in fact, I'm the only person in this world right now who can't find joy in life.
I've always taken for granted the fact that I'm going to have somebody to spend the rest of my life with. Is that really going to happen? Can someone as timid as myself really meet somone to spend the rest of my life with? Said person is not just going to fall out of the sky and land on my lap. And of course, even if I do resolve to be more outgoing, that doesn't necessarily guarantee that there will be someone that I meet that I do want to spend the rest of my life with.
Of course my life could be a lot worse. I could be the guy on the radio talking about his roof being on fire.
So, what happens now? I guess the only solution is to stop watching so many sappy movies and to get back to real life. Hehehhee. That's funny.
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