Rejection.

Springtime.

For some reason, these things go together oh so well. Or maybe it's just me. I just don't think that i could deal with any more rejections at this time in my life. Apparently my expectations of myself are way too high. And this makes me worry about my perceptions of myself, of my surroundings, of the people i know. what do they think of me. i think I know what they think of me, but if i don't even think of myself acurately, how the heck am i supposed to ReAd other people in the world.

Alone. That is what i am. That is who I am. A sorry state to be in, to be sure, but one that many of us are destined to live in. Some fall into situations while others must grab it by the neck and drag themselves in, only to realize upon entering that they really didn't want to be there in the first place.

Of course this may all just be a ploy to try to confuse my consciousness into thinking that I really don't care, that it really doesn't matter, that it's all good. And I can put on that face with quite a deal of easy these days, in this life.

Broken on the inside.

The ran t i n gs of a madman, or just one alone and confused. Tired, pathetic, cold, wet, whimpering outside, with no one to let him in. Why does he long to within the walls when he has seen the inside. It is because there is percieved to be a better life on the inside as opposed to being an otcast, quite seropisly, every waking moment of every waking day... longing to be within, and once he gets there. Once he reaches the tower. Once he plays the game, and we all have a hearty laugh because everyone's handed them in, except for those who know what's on the inside and like it there.

It's always nice to have an in.

It's also nice to know that you're needed.