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another kind of me

a trip through me


friday, march 5, 1999, 02:35

i thought i had a handle on it for a while, but a quick look around the apartment leads me to believe otherwise. as is the case with a lot of people, i'd imagine, their environments reflect how their lives are doing at any given moment in time.

my apartment is shitty right now.

not that it can't be fixed. quite the contrary, i just spent the past half-hour or so emptying the litterbox (three or more days), the trash (one week plus) doing the dishes (two days) and straightening up my papers (for-fucking-ever).

so it's not so much that everything's falling apart, but rather that everything has fallen into disrepair. though i have taken pains to keep up the rest of my life. oh. wait. i mean the theatre. i was in the theatre today with the guys from the university talking about ways that we can fix up the building and keep it from sucking as much as much of it does. i can take care of that building, but i can't for the life of me keep clean my room or my study. i guess what it really comes down to is the fact that i keep shuffling things around from the living room to the kitchen to the study to the bedroom. and never throw anything out. so when i get to the bedroom i've got so much shit that i just don't know what to do with it all.

but i really don't care about my cleaning habits. they're strange, i'll admit that. i think i'm ready to move on.

what is really exciting me though is the theatre. finally. while we didn't pass the show which i had hoped we would, i'm on emergency reserve for the current production whose lighting designer has taken ill and for which i am now one of three co-designers-people-who-are-going-to-make-it-work types. which is okay. but the exciting thing is being in the theatre after rehearsal and learning the stage combat stuff. there's just something super-cool about swords that i never realized before. and this is just renewing my love of the theatre. which i had honestly lost for a while.

we're also in the midst of the arts festival which, while not drawing huge crowds nightly (due to an organizational snafu on our part), is still a huge success in the audiences which it is drawing in and in the art that it is letting happen.

art ist gut.

and i even wrote something too the other night. it's sitting on storytime. not really sure what i think of it. need some more opinions first.

but i don't even have time to critique my own work.

blah.

oh yeah. she came to the theatre tonight. the girl i met ice skating. back to where we originally met. i like meeting people. i'm afraid of next year ending up somewhere where i don't meet any people and fall into a rut.

that's not going to happen. not if i move to san francisco, right?

oh yeah. yay e-commerce! the album is selling well, people seem to like it, and it's just a very exciting thing.

why am i in school again?


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