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wednesday, february 3, 1999, 02:08 the quest for the final course might finally be over. though i doubt that seriously because that would just make my life too easy. and why on earth should anything be making my life easy at this point? yeah, that's what i thought. walking to class today, i noticed a liquid nitrogen filling the (presumably) liquid nitrogen tanks outside one of the labs. and inside the back of the truck was a little cartoon scientist holding a pointer and giving the rules to dispensing of the liquid nitrogen. the list begane with "before connecting the hose" and went on from there. and i had to wonder to myself what sort of person actually goes around delivering liquid nitrogen. i mean, do these people get trained specially? or is all there is to being a liquid nitrogen deliveryperson the ability to be able to read a little cartoon on the back of the truck. maybe i can go off somewhere and be a liquid nitrogen deliveryboy. "here's the liquid nitrogen you ordered. now what was i supposed to do before connecting the hose? oh yeah..." it's getting to that period of my life when i sit and think of the days when i'll be able to be as crazy as i want to be and bask in the knowledge that all the craziness and all the pain and suffering and the long hours and the late nights and all that has come from things that i want to do, projects that i'm working on and not from classes and school. because school is just a thing right now. that's really all it is. in eight hours i'll be sitting in one of these things. and it will be an interesting thing. and it will be filled with a couple of hundred other people all experiencing the thing. and there will be one guy standing up in front of the room with two large slides behind him and he will be talking about big, modern, buildings. but it'll just be a thing. and there are three other things like it in my life. and i have to wait for four more months, and then i'll be done with things. oh, and i got a job offer. which is very exciting because even if it turns out that i don't take the job, it means that someone out there thinks that i'm marketable. or at least breathing and able to code my way out of a wet paper bag. and if they're willing to pay me to do that, well then... but what about the dream? what about the theatre? good question. money or theatre? love vs. comfort? such a tough call to make. and not one which i'm going to even attempt to make now. something will fall into my lap sooner or later. better keep looking up.
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