|
thursday, october 15, 1998, 02:24 i've really got to stop myself before i do something i'm going to end up regretting. so, i've got my show opening this friday, which i'm actually pretty happy with, and what do i go and do? just now that i'm thinking that maybe i've got some life back in my life. yeah. it also opens on friday. and i look at myself and try to rationalize it. "oh, they're paying me." "oh, they needed someone to do it." "they'd be fucked otherwise." but really, what is going on in my head? design in a day? a couple of hours? do i need my sanity? bah. jcn the martyr. who am i kidding? so, we're going to forget about all of that and focus instead on two realizations that i came to today. number 1: campbell's chicken noodle soup has a buttload of sodium and in the future i should buy the low sodium kind. number 2: i should continue to do shows with small casts where everyone involved in the show is a girl. it makes for a much more pleasant experience. especially, as is the case now, if all the girls are cute. makes for a nice rehearsal process and actually keeps me interested. well, most of the time. today was a bit of a stretch considering this "oh, it'll run about an hour" show is now stretched out to just shy of two hours. which is a bad thing. and though i'm completely in love with one of the actresses, i really can't stand her acting, and i'm wondering if this should hold any bearing on whether or not i actually get off my butt for the first time in my life and act on this. more likely than not i'm going to just let this show come and go and i'm never going to see this girl again and i'm going to play me a big game of "what-if, but it doesn't really matter since it wouldn't have worked out anyway" which seems to be the a trend for me. and maybe it's time to change that, but exactly how to approach the thing is a delicate matter which must be mulled over and over again until it makes no sense to me at all at which point the show will be over and i'll be stuck in the same place where i was a moment ago. maybe i'll sleep on it. (uh, yeah -- right)
| mon |