another kind of me

friday, may 22, 1998, 03:33 i have no right to be lonely. and at this moment, i really am not. i was just realizing that most of the time, i feel, or seem, depressed and lonely. and most of the time, i am. but right now, with my classes done (except for that one) and my show finished (with some decent reviews), a day spent in boston was just what i needed to make myself realize that there's really nothing to worry about. don't sweat the small stuff. it's all small stuff. i'm fading fast. the music playing, the overhead light lulling me into a strange sense of feeling that there's actually light in here when all there is really is the soft glow of bad light and my roommate snoring. better finish soon. a little before four this afternoon, we finally got into the cars, seth brian sam and i and headed up to Boston. An hour in the jeep, brian and sam in another car, we reach boston, do the fanieul hall thing and visit the magic store where we proceed to go through all of those steel puzzle thingers where you have to remove the ring from the loop until we could solve a bunch of them, then a dinner of (for me) tortellini alfredo which made me sick, just as all alfredo sauces do, and then canoles followed by a drive to wellseley to pick up seth's girlfriend and then a trip home. only downside to the entire day was probably that i kept on getting abuse from brian and seth and sarah and sam. talking shit about me and all. i mean, all in good fun is one thing, but it got a little ridiculous. i hate being the punching bag. regardless. thick skin is where it's at. i've got to put mine on. realizing slowly in my head that of the people that i know right now, i don't think that i should be dating any of them right now. that i'll find someone eventually, when i'm least looking, and all that. seeing seth and sarah together tonight, picking her up at wellseley and driving back here, despite the abuse i've been getting from everyone, makes me happy. seeing them together makes me happy. seeing my friends together makes me happy. i'm happy. it's crazy. and yes, we drove up to boston for dinner. what's your point? up one | mail | sun | mon | wed | thu