another kind of me

thursday, may 21, 1998, 04:28 it really is time for a redesign. like that's really going to happen. why do i not believe it. why do i not believe that i'm going to have the time or the energy to change this place around? i gave up tonight. i hate giving up, but i hate not knowing what i'm doing even more. i was trying to install openbsd on my old 486, just because, but i just didn't understand what i was doing and was just getting frustrated. so i guess i can wait another day to finish this up. or something. the sky is shifting from a blue-black to a lighter shade of blue. not light yet, but the moon is sinking, about to say goodbye, and trade places with the sun. and the days just keep rolling by. in less than a week i will be back at home. back from school. for the summer. and then a week from then, i'll be moving into my new apartment. my new home. hopefully, somewhere in there, i will have gotten a job (which is currently in the works, unless i messed things up) which will pay decently and will be interesting. interesting being the key thing here. dinner with sam, brian, tish and sarah tonight, followed by further proof that while i'd like to convince myself that i am fairly coordinated, i am completely and utterly useless when it comes to aerobie (thanks to brian for the correct spelling) as evidenced by the fact that i couldn't throw the damn thing straight to save my life. the expereience did teach me that hanging out with friends and running around is fun. it's really cool. i'm discovering friends i never knew i had. spending more and more time with people dragging them into my world. but it's nice, to have more people to talk to. when there are people around, i tend to foget that i'm lonely, which is at least a step in the right direction. friends. fun. who could ask for anything more? i'm still falling asleep in strange places. like today, i fell asleep in the middle of act three of the play, and woke up just as the director was finishing up the curtain call. just strange, sleep is. and right now, i can feel myself sinking into my wrist rest, my eyes slowly closing, so i think it's time to go. up one | mail | sun | mon | wed