"Advice. And stuff."
the pith helmet

     I'm relatively intelligent. And I know some pretty smart people too. So I figure that it's about time that I share that intelligence with the rest of the world. Do you have a question? Sure you do! So ask it here!

I may, or may not, know what I'm talking about. I'm not a therapist. I'm not even really a writer. In real life, face to face, some of what I've written here might have been accompanied by a smirk or wild hand gestures. Keep it in mind.

New! Comment on this article

Mail me your question

See the old questions

Return to pith.org

    

Published on 11/22/2000

Inane in Indiana says
What's the best way to warm up one's toes (besides the obvious use of a heat vent)? Don't laugh at me, dammit.

Truth be told, given the frigid state that my house currently enjoys, the heat vent was never even a consideration for me. I have been suffering the same ills as you, however, and your question finds me in the one room in this house without the benefit of what little heat we do have. My hands, exposed to the elements so that I might bring you these words, are appropriately cold, but my toes remain as warm and sweaty as they might on the fine beaches of Waikiki.

So how do I keep them so warm? It's a little known fact that socks alone will not keep feet, and especially toes snuggly toasty. It would seem like the obvious solution: swath a body part in cloth and watch the temperature rise. Such is not the case, however, as your feet are so far away from the rest of your body (the warm part) that when socks come in contact with the environment they are powerless to stop the flow of energy out and away, wicking away any attempt at comfort. Compound this with the fact that this query was sent to me via email, which leads me to believe that you are sitting and thus not moving and thus losing even more heat from your body.

The solution, my friend, is a pair of slippers. To be sure, the word "slippers" conjours up images of bunny rabbits and sleep-over parties, but the fact is that slippers are your one defense against the elements during these harsh times. "What about shoes?" you might ask, and you would be correct in doing so. I shy away from saying that shoes are the solution, however, for two reasons. The first is that the notion of wearing shoes in the house absolutely disgusts me. My upbringing demanded that shoes never be worn in the house for fear of tracking in dirt and other foul detritus. The other reason, and more to the point, is that shoes are meant to be worn outdoors and as such are designed for rugged durability with the additional benefit of comfort. However, the ruggedness is most certainly not what you want while lounging around your domicile. Instead, you want your feet to disappear off of the end of your ankles in a glorious bath of warth, unencumbered by such things as zippers or shoe laces.

So I say to you now, the slipper will be your savior. A padded insole, rubber sole (to prevent slipping), and a nice texture will soothe the feet and the spirit.


hahaha
Posted by bill on 11-24-2000 16:42


slippers make your feet warm, but how do you keep them from making your feet sweaty?
Posted by annette on 11-29-2000 16:54


That is what the socks are for. With socks, the moisture gets wicked away from your feet keeping them dry. You need good socks though.
Posted by jcn on 11-30-2000 16:02


but what about those nifty slipper socks - those not so ingenious sock like things with rubberized grippy surfaces on the soles?
Posted by jyee on 12-04-2000 13:31


ooh. slipper socks. those kind of scare me in a genetic-experiment-created-in-a-lab kind of way.
Posted by sam on 12-05-2000 22:51


Comment on this article