[astigmatic much?] pith.org content, daily-like
most recently
archive

Wednesday March 06, 2002, 05:13

I'm awake again, and falling into old habits. The one that currently occupies my existence would be typing on a laptop in my lap, my fingers curled in unnatural ways. But more than that, I am sitting awake at five in the morning after having just woken up on the couch after having fallen asleep earlier tonight and now not knowing what to do with myself.

I was out earlier today and discovered in the outdoors one of the coldest days in recent memory. I can only hope that it either warms up at this point or it decides to snow. This in-between "bitter cold to tear off your face" is unacceptable to the likes of me. That is, to people without proper winter coats.

I dropped my photos off at the half-hour photo developing place and decided to go for a walk to pass the time. A half-hour is not a long time at all and it would have been silly for me to walk all the way home only to have to turn around and walk back again. So I walked to the park and I stood and watched the skateboarders in the basketball court.

They weren't particularly good, but I was reminded not of my skateboarding youth (which existed, but which was very very limited and not once did it ever even consider coming close to having my skateboard and/or feet leave the ground) but to my voyeuristic past of several months ago when I would go out for walks and watch the skateboarders and bladers grinding up on rails and jumping steps. I don't do that any more. I seem to be too pre-occupied with the comings and goings of the rest of my life to remember what it was like to just stop.

So I stood there and watched them and thinking things that I probably shouldn't have. Things like "I bet that boy is cold without a sweatshirt." I think I'm getting old.

It's still dark, but the sky is just starting to lighten up, which means that it might be time for me to go to sleep. Daytime scares me these days. Daytime is this strange time during which I have to pretend to function like a human being while realizing that anything that I do is something of a temporary fix for my current situation. Which is to say that, come hell or high water, I am moving away. Given that, and given the relatively short time frame we are talking about, it seems silly to me to even consider to establish myself here in anyway. Ridiculous thoughts creep into one's head at five in the morning.

I left the city to go down to DC for the weekend, and I rediscovered the joy of driving. Along with that, I discovered the joy of traveling with somebody and I realized the thrill of rolling into a Day's Inn at five in the morning and convincing the desk clerk to give you a room for sixty dollars instead of the eighty-three he wanted to charge. Also: Motel 6 sucks. I am sure that there are other lessons to be learned from this experience, but they've all been buried under memories of driving and smiling and stopping at the outlet mall just because it was there. Agendas are for weenies. I just need someone to keep reminding me of this fact.

Oh, and by way of explanation, I've been taking a lot of photos lately, but none of them digital (because Canon has been horrible in the service department lately) but this means that not only am I not writing in my journal, but I'm also not posting to my web site. So, if you want to see my photos, come visit me already.

But sleep is good and being tired is bad and I think that I am going to reconsider my crazy thoughts of staying up the rest of the night. Daytime does have a lot to offer, right?

[ permanent link ]

[ email love | your love | consumer love ]

------------------

search the past

remember the past

1999
    aug 04 05 06 08 09 11 12 15 17 22 26 30
    sep 01 03 07 12 20 28
    oct 04 14 18 22
    nov 02 07 12 19 25 26 27
    dec 12 15 18 28 31

2000
    jan 02 06 11 12 18 29
    feb 03 10 14 17 21 23 28 29
    mar 05 06 20 22 25 26
    apr 02 05 06 08 09 10 12 13 17 20 21 24 25 28 29
    may 03 05 08 11 12 15 17 17b 18 18b 21 23 25 29 30 31
    jun 01 01b 03 06 07 08 10 13 14 16 18 21 23 25 30
    jul 03 06 09 10 13 16 26
    aug 02 03 04 08 10 17 21 25 29
    sep 06 07 12 13 18 24
    oct 06 11 12 19 30 31
    nov 08 11 22 26 30
    dec 01 10 14 21 30

2001
    jan 01 09 14 16 30
    feb 11 15 20 22
    mar 06 08 09 21 25 30
    apr 01 04 05 09 13 18 23 24 25 28
    may 04 09 11 14 16 17 21 25 31
    jun 02 08 20 21 28 29
    jul 07 13 17 28
    aug 14 24 26
    sep 09 12 23 24
    oct 10 26 28 31
    nov 11 17 18 28 30
    dec 02 08 15 18 26

2002
    jan 03 07 08 18 20 23
    feb 04 05 17 19 22
    mar 06 10 13 15 17
    apr 13 16 19 26
    may 03 13 16 21
    jun 08 15 21
    jul 03 05 10 18 24
    aug 03 18
    sep 11 20
    oct 03 05
    nov 10
    dec 30

2003
    jan 19
    feb 04 14 27
    mar 10 23 31
    apr 11 15
    may 26
    jun 16 29
    aug 17
    sep 15
    oct 08
    nov 30
    dec 11 24 28

2004
    jan 06 23 30
    feb 01 21
    mar 04 09
    apr 15
    may 02 10
    jul 03
    aug 02 16 30
    oct 04 17
    nov 28
    dec 28

2005
    jan 03 24
    mar 24
    may 28
    aug 01 10
    sep 03
    oct 12 28
    dec 25

2006
    jan 01 07 16
    feb 02 13 28
    mar 12 13
    apr 17

other things to look at

back home