[astigmatic much?] pith.org content, daily-like
most recently
archive

Wednesday January 23, 2002, 03:11

The mind races at something resembling the revving of an engine at a stop light, the driver, impatient or wanting to make scene, the car, not yet in gear. Lots of noise, very little resolution. I am waiting, here in the pre-dawn hours, for an angel to come knocking at my window, carrying a missive that will, in excruciating detail, inform me of what to do next at this point in my life.

I find myself, again, on something of a break from reality. Having been unable to hold up any sort of steady employment over the past several years, it would stand to reason that at this point in the year, at this point in this particular employ, I would begin to feel slightly agitated, a bit uneasy. I would start to look this way and that, looking for the escape hatch. Finding none, I would begin banging on the door with my shoe, and, barring that, would being flinging chairs at the windows, all in a desperate attempt to get out.

Out indeed. What is out? What exactly is it that is outside. There is a world of possibility that I am avoiding for some reason. Opportunity is endless to the person who is willing to dream, and yet I am stuck in some sort of dream world in which my hands are tied, in which I have no options and in which all of my decisions have been already made and I have no choice in the matter. This, of course, is totally ridiculous, and it is just a matter of time before I realize this for myself.

What did I see today on my way to work? Nothing. I ran down the stairs, out the door, down the stairs to the subway, through the closing doors of the train where I proceeded to stare at my face in the glass across the car for one stop and got off the train, entered the deli, got a sandwich and sat at my desk for what seemed to be an eternity. There is no life in that life. There is no lust in that life, and if there's anything I need in life, it's lust. Or vice versa.

[...]

Time to bust a move.

[ permanent link ]

[ email love | your love | consumer love ]

------------------

search the past

remember the past

1999
    aug 04 05 06 08 09 11 12 15 17 22 26 30
    sep 01 03 07 12 20 28
    oct 04 14 18 22
    nov 02 07 12 19 25 26 27
    dec 12 15 18 28 31

2000
    jan 02 06 11 12 18 29
    feb 03 10 14 17 21 23 28 29
    mar 05 06 20 22 25 26
    apr 02 05 06 08 09 10 12 13 17 20 21 24 25 28 29
    may 03 05 08 11 12 15 17 17b 18 18b 21 23 25 29 30 31
    jun 01 01b 03 06 07 08 10 13 14 16 18 21 23 25 30
    jul 03 06 09 10 13 16 26
    aug 02 03 04 08 10 17 21 25 29
    sep 06 07 12 13 18 24
    oct 06 11 12 19 30 31
    nov 08 11 22 26 30
    dec 01 10 14 21 30

2001
    jan 01 09 14 16 30
    feb 11 15 20 22
    mar 06 08 09 21 25 30
    apr 01 04 05 09 13 18 23 24 25 28
    may 04 09 11 14 16 17 21 25 31
    jun 02 08 20 21 28 29
    jul 07 13 17 28
    aug 14 24 26
    sep 09 12 23 24
    oct 10 26 28 31
    nov 11 17 18 28 30
    dec 02 08 15 18 26

2002
    jan 03 07 08 18 20 23
    feb 04 05 17 19 22
    mar 06 10 13 15 17
    apr 13 16 19 26
    may 03 13 16 21
    jun 08 15 21
    jul 03 05 10 18 24
    aug 03 18
    sep 11 20
    oct 03 05
    nov 10
    dec 30

2003
    jan 19
    feb 04 14 27
    mar 10 23 31
    apr 11 15
    may 26
    jun 16 29
    aug 17
    sep 15
    oct 08
    nov 30
    dec 11 24 28

2004
    jan 06 23 30
    feb 01 21
    mar 04 09
    apr 15
    may 02 10
    jul 03
    aug 02 16 30
    oct 04 17
    nov 28
    dec 28

2005
    jan 03 24
    mar 24
    may 28
    aug 01 10
    sep 03
    oct 12 28
    dec 25

2006
    jan 01 07 16
    feb 02 13 28
    mar 12 13
    apr 17

other things to look at

back home