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Monday January 07, 2002, 04:44

It's not snowing. It should be snowing. At least, that's how it felt today, leaving the apartment looking up at the sky, grey clouds covering the city, sun barely breaking through. It looked like it was about to snow. The hard driving snow that cuts through your body and cakes into your hair. Or even the light fluffy snow that reminds you that it really is winter and that frozen water is really quite pretty.

Instead, it rained today. I got out of the movie theatre to a cold rain. And it wasn't even a cold winter rain, because cold winter rains are inevitably known as "snow," which this clearly was not. I was on the phone, hair matting to my head, wool coat growing increasingly heavy as it got wetter and wetter.

And yet it was strangely appropriate, walking home in the rain, in the cold. Miserable. Snow represents the happy things. Snowballs. Snow days. Snow angels. But really, there's nothing too pleasant about a cold rain. Being wet and being cold always stand out in my mind as some of the more uncomfortable times in my life. Riding the monorail at Disney World, for one. A happy day, to be sure, when we got caught in the rain. Boarding the monorail, we were struck with a blast of cold air from the air conditioner that carried us all the way back to the hotel. Wet, and uncomfortable. The list goes on, but it's not worth delving too deeply into it.

Things that happened today: good brunch, good car ride, good train ride, met new people, crappy movie, cold rain, rejected story. It started out well enough, and has degenerated into my sitting here, eyes dry and bleary, noting that in mere hours time I'll need to wake up and go to work. Work is really all there is right now. Once again, I say that a lot.

I'm tired. I need to sleep. And I'm still sad. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow to a snow day.

I can always hope.

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