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Thursday January 03, 2002, 02:31

Dashed down the steps to the subway and saw the silver car sitting at the platform, doors open, bells ringing. Card in my hand, I swiped it through the turnstile and slipped through to be confronted with closing doors. Momentum being what it is, I about collided with the doors when they reopened and I slipped inside before they closed again, this time for real. It's nice to cheat those few extra moments out of time that way.

Time has a way of catching up to you, however, as I realized when I transfered trains and had to wait several minutes (or the equivalent of a lifetime to the neurotic morning commuters) for the express to leave the station, negating any time savings I might have gained by the switch from the local.

Leaving the station, finally, I heard a slide whistle.

I never owned a slide whistle of my own. I'm not sure if I knew anyone who owned one either. And even still, I don't know why anyone would want to own one. I did have a little toy that I associate with the word "slide" for some reason. It was a hand-held toy in two pieces. The first was a wire piece with a handle and bent into a track of sorts, perhaps a foot long. The other piece of the toy was a red plastic wheel with a magnetic axle which would sit on the track. The wheel would spin along the toy as you tipped it back and forth and would make a whirring noise as it went. You could tip it faster and faster and the wheel would go faster and faster until friction and gravity could no longer contend with each other and the wheel would just slip and stop spinning. I think it had the word "slide" in the name of it.

That is how my day began.

It ended with me sobbing on the couch, but that is really here nor there. It was an interesting experience to say the least as I'd not really cried in several years and had forgotten the basics of such an act. A checklist follows:

Curled up in a little ball for a little bit, spoke on the phone with appropriate parties and soon the feelings passed. Am interested now in knowing whether or not this emotional outburst has opened the gates to future ones or if it was merely and isolated incident. Also considering possibilities of crying at work and implications of this action and determining ways to suppress such actions, if the need arises.

In between these two stunning events (that is, the cheating of time and the shedding of tears) life continued on its path. The first day of the new year provided no excitement but for a large coffee from the deli downstairs rather than the small one.

Go big, go strong.

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