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Friday August 24, 2001, 19:51

I'm waiting for something, at this moment. Well, right at this moment I'm waiting for my laundry to finish so I can go out and buy food so I can eat dinner so I can continue to wait for my friend to show up from out of town. But that's not really what I'm waiting for. I'm waiting for the next step. Already. After reaching this part of things I'm already waiting to move on to the next one. That doesn't make much sense, does it?

The rain makes people quite stupid, I found out yesterday as I took a cab home from my most recent of jobs. I was helping out my cousin at a trade show. A step down for me, in terms of my "usual rate" (and to think that I actually have a usual rate now for theatrical-like things), but I do it every year and it's fun and I like hanging out with her. And I was taking this cab home because I was carrying home a large box of picture frames that could no longer be used as display items because they were a little bit banged up and yet were perfectly serviceable in an apartment with an ugly couch from the fifties and no carpeting (that would be my apartment). So I had taken to walking two blocks before I could hail a cab in the (and getting back to it here) rain because, for some reason, taxis are not particularly interested in picking up passengers in the rain. At least not passengers with large boxes. Coming from convention centers. The logic there escapes me, but then again, I don't drive a cab, nor do I have any desire to, so we'll just leave it at that.

And in this taxi (a word that I have been using interchangeably here with "cab" both to "mix it up a bit" and because I am still trying to feel out both words in my mouth to see which one fits better) on my way home I witnessed, at every intersection, one or more vehicles that decided that, because it was raining, it would be perfectly acceptable to slip in to the intersection as the light was turning red, thereby effectively blocking all traffic traveling through said intersection in the perpendicular direction (namely, me) and causing a substantially increased amount of stress among all people in the surrounding area.

I would like to blame this behavior on the rain, for no other reason than the fact that I have not seen this level of absurdity since, well, since the last time it rained here. And I was out in it. Which is rare now that I work from home most of the time.

Which is actually where I am now. Sitting outside, looking over the city and feeling the wind blow my hair and my laptop screen back and forth. It is getting chilly. And the air feels clean. Well, as clean as it can feel in this city in late August. I looked out my window today and noticed that I could see out further than I have in a while. The humidity is burning off and is being replaced with the brisk breeze of autumn. I'm not actually sure how long this will last, but I for one plan on enjoying it while it is here.

Which might be tomorrow. Which brings me back to the notion of waiting. Well. In a sense.

I have finally learned that what I want to do with myself for the time being is actually something that people get paid to do, and I have decided to approach this course of employment with a moderate amount of vigor. Including the purchase of business cards. Imagine that. The defining moment of any great career is the day that those little pieces of cardstock are delivered to your (or, in this case, to my) desk. Or at least that's what I've been telling myself. That occupation that I referred to before?

"Consultant."

Consultant. The word itself evokes images of... Actually, it doesn't really do anything for me. A consultant was always an abstract representation of something that I did not want to do because they came to my school and recruited heavily. But the realization came about that being a consultant is simply being paid to advise on a particular topic, and perhaps to follow-through on the implementation of that topic. For me, this particular area of expertise is technology. A grand term and one that I will hopefully be able to convince others that I am worthy of advising upon.

Right. So. Does anyone out there need a consultant?

Woah. Back up there. There's that whole waiting thing. So I've finally decided on, or had presented to me, or had a vision of, this course of action in my professional life. I had been waiting for that. For something to come out and slap me and tell me that this was what I was supposed to be doing for the moment. So I did that. Or it did that. Or a combination. And now I am waiting for whatever comes next.

The sky is an even shade of slate grey right now, and the lights of the city twinkle golden amber. There is a tower off to the north, illuminated in brilliant white. The wind is blowing and I can hear summer packing her bags to make room for fall.

I think it's a pretty good time to be waiting.

Besides, I think my laundry's done.

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