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Thursday June 28, 2001, 01:39

I stepped out of the apartment and into the hot, sticky night. We'd just watched two episodes of "Sex and the City" and the world constructed therein, though shot on location and all that, stood in stark contrast to the muggy, dirty streets that actually make up Manhattan, especially in the summer.

A clump of people waited at the door of the club just around the corner, dressed up in their Wednesday best. Though every night is a party night in New York, it always amazes me to realize that there are so many people all around who do everything in their ability to avoid the norms of what the rest of the world might consider a schedule. Wednesday could just as well be Sunday could be Friday as I realize tonight, checking my calendar and finding that I will be working Thursday, Friday and Saturday this week, noon until nine in the evening. Not lucrative, by any stretch of the imagination, but it keeps my busy for the time being and may even pay my bills. The jury is still out on that one.

But this world that was created on the television this evening. The world of dating and relationships and, dare I say it, sex, that I am so unfamiliar with, and have been for some time now. But this is not desperation. It's summer and the mind tends to do some silly things. Like try to relate ones life to the ones that have been constructed for entertainment purposes only. You'd think that they'd come with warning labels.

Attention: Any similarity between this show and your life is merely a misplaced attempt on your part to substitute real emotion with a constructed reality. If nostalgia and/or feelings of attachment are felt, get out of your apartment and meet some real people immediately.

In other news, it turns out that this girl that I met randomly one night at a moderately horrible play with who I'd felt I'd made a connection and with whom I would have liked to have met up with again and with whom I had never again after she never again returned my phone calls did, in fact, go to camp with one of my friends from college. Isn't that funny? I thought so.

Thing is that I am getting better at taking rejection, but it still hurts, you know, mostly because I thought that I would have had a new friend in this person (who subsequently did not return my calls) and, well, this turned out not to be the case.

On the other hand, I keep forgetting that there are, in fact, eight million people in this city and that there must be a few more of them who would be willing to put up with me.

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