[astigmatic much?] pith.org content, daily-like
most recently
archive

Tuesday January 30, 2001, 01:41

It's already the end of January and I have a stack of bills on my desk and a course that I've not written yet and approval pending from and editor and I really should get on that but I've just been such a busy person lately.

really.

The cute girl lives at 65 St. Mark's Street, several blocks west of where I am staying right now, and a couple of blocks east of where I will be staying in a couple of months. She sat behind me in the falafel shop where I have purchased my fried chickpea goodness for the second time in as many days as the other shop where I normally purchase such food items which is closer to my apartment and fifty cents cheaper (which is not an insignificant sum when you spend money at the rate that I do, and make money at the rate that I do not) has been closed for the past couple of days.

Perhaps they were taking time off for the Superbowl.

Anyway, she sat behind me, and I did not even make the slightest attempt to say anything to her. Well, I made a sort of half-hearted attempt as I sat there not quite square with the table a bit at an angle so that I could glance backwards under the pretenses of looking at the menu but in actuality sneaking glances in her direction to see if she ever was looking back at me. Which she never was. Which is fine but I wonder at times where the me who was so happy and friendly and perhaps not jaded enough went after a year and a half and whether he is ever coming back.

The theory kicking around in my head currently is that the me that was living in the city before that me got scared and moved to Boston is gone now that this me, the me that is sitting here in his sublet in the up-and-coming (or is that now-and-happening (or even been-there-done-that)) now realizes that there are way too many people that he knows living nearby and that the freedom to talk to random people has been replaced with the ability to go to a crappy diner after work and have a veggie burger and a beer. Not that I work. But you know.

Or maybe it's just that I've found routine. Or that I lack routine. Since I can't really consider going to sleep at 6 am and waking up five hours later anything particularly resembling a routine. But I have projects about which I am passionate.

And things that I would like to learn, but can not seem to. For example, I have been trying to determine when I should use NOT NULL in the tables in my database. And everyone just tells me that it's when I want "integrity" and I tell them that I really have no integrity and if that's why they hang out with me then it's time to find some new friends. But they insist on muttering "integrity" without offering anything really useful. For example, I am perfectly happy to just store everything NOT NULL and treat columns where the user has decided not to enter data and colums where the user has never entered any data as exactly the same. I mean the distinction is perhaps academic, at best, in the situations that I am examining. And yet I can't help but wonder if there is in fact a situation where I would need to know about NULL data. And so I am at something of a standstill. I believe that at this point I will forge ahead and figure it all out later.

They don't let me out very much, and when they do, they make me wear a bag over my head. This is my cross to bear.

I am very tempted also to do an in-depth analysis of what my database server is doing at this very moment in time, but not only would it be inaccurate by the time anyone read it, but it would also be excruciatingly boring.

I went to see Resident Alien at the Workshop last night, instead of the Superbowl. The show was wonderful, go see it, etc etc. Notably, the line "Books are not for reading. Books are for writing." I've not written anything of note for quite some time. Nor, it might be mentioned, have I read anything particularly interesting either. So where exactly has my life been lately? Again, it's been in that pit that I know as computer programming, or, more affectionately, coding. And the problem with coding is that I enjoy it and will sit in front of a computer for days at a time building reasonably stupid projects if I can convince myself that it is "fun" or will otherwise lead to "glory."

I crave attention. I think it has something to do with my childhood, though I can't say for sure.

I must say that I got quite a thrill when the site that I've been working on got written up in Salon. Well, got a mention in Salon. Which is more than anything else that I've worked on. I will not quote it in its entirety here, becase, well, it's not worth it, but I will note that my relationship with Survivor does make the following passage funny.

Leave it to fans on the Web to outwit, outplay and outlast the very network that brought them this schlock to obsess about in the first place

I think that was my first successful use of the blockquote tag for its intended purpose. Go me.

I suppose the point of this incessant rambling is that I was walking down the street this morning, after watching the cute girl step into her apartment, past the couple embracing on the sidewalk and the stockboy sweeping assorted debris out of the convenience store and I could not help but realize, once again, that I was just where I wanted to be.

[ permanent link ]

[ email love | your love | consumer love ]

------------------

search the past

remember the past

1999
    aug 04 05 06 08 09 11 12 15 17 22 26 30
    sep 01 03 07 12 20 28
    oct 04 14 18 22
    nov 02 07 12 19 25 26 27
    dec 12 15 18 28 31

2000
    jan 02 06 11 12 18 29
    feb 03 10 14 17 21 23 28 29
    mar 05 06 20 22 25 26
    apr 02 05 06 08 09 10 12 13 17 20 21 24 25 28 29
    may 03 05 08 11 12 15 17 17b 18 18b 21 23 25 29 30 31
    jun 01 01b 03 06 07 08 10 13 14 16 18 21 23 25 30
    jul 03 06 09 10 13 16 26
    aug 02 03 04 08 10 17 21 25 29
    sep 06 07 12 13 18 24
    oct 06 11 12 19 30 31
    nov 08 11 22 26 30
    dec 01 10 14 21 30

2001
    jan 01 09 14 16 30
    feb 11 15 20 22
    mar 06 08 09 21 25 30
    apr 01 04 05 09 13 18 23 24 25 28
    may 04 09 11 14 16 17 21 25 31
    jun 02 08 20 21 28 29
    jul 07 13 17 28
    aug 14 24 26
    sep 09 12 23 24
    oct 10 26 28 31
    nov 11 17 18 28 30
    dec 02 08 15 18 26

2002
    jan 03 07 08 18 20 23
    feb 04 05 17 19 22
    mar 06 10 13 15 17
    apr 13 16 19 26
    may 03 13 16 21
    jun 08 15 21
    jul 03 05 10 18 24
    aug 03 18
    sep 11 20
    oct 03 05
    nov 10
    dec 30

2003
    jan 19
    feb 04 14 27
    mar 10 23 31
    apr 11 15
    may 26
    jun 16 29
    aug 17
    sep 15
    oct 08
    nov 30
    dec 11 24 28

2004
    jan 06 23 30
    feb 01 21
    mar 04 09
    apr 15
    may 02 10
    jul 03
    aug 02 16 30
    oct 04 17
    nov 28
    dec 28

2005
    jan 03 24
    mar 24
    may 28
    aug 01 10
    sep 03
    oct 12 28
    dec 25

2006
    jan 01 07 16
    feb 02 13 28
    mar 12 13
    apr 17

other things to look at

back home