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Wednesday September 06, 2000, 10:25

A discussion of cynicism in our society will be avoided here for fear of plagarizing the play that I am currently involved with. While it would be possible to read through the script to make sure that nothing of that sort occurred, I feel that I have better things to do with myself right now.

What those things are elude me. This is the part where I start talking about how I could write about certain things, in effect writing about them as I talk about writing them. But that doesn't really seem to fit with my mood. But talking about what I did last weekend sounds rather trite, like telling everyone what I did on my summer vacation.

Of course, I've been doing it for three years now, I don't see why today should be any different. I suspect that it has something to do with the weather which has turned blissfully cool in recent days as a clear reminder that I do in fact live in New England and that it is going to be beautiful for a number of days, or even weeks, before getting brutally frigid and freezing my nuts off. I suppose that's what thick pants are for.

But for the time being, the sky is nice and clear with just a smattering of little fluffy clouds and I can feel my yearly cold coming on. Mostly it comes from leaving my window open at night because I like to fall asleep with the breeze coming into my room, but inevitably I will wake up sniffling because I left the window open and it got very cold in the night and I left my head exposed, as I often do when I'm not hiding from monsters underneath my covers.

This cold will last me through until next march or so, when the weather starts to warm up again and I begin to think about how much I've missed autumn and winter. Autumn more than winter, I suspect, for the changing colors on the trees, sure, but also for the change in the scenery of the people around. The students are back in town, which is nice and annoying at the same time, but autumn also means that people have to start wearing more clothes, but not so many clothes that they have to get all bundled up with heavy winter coats and scarves. We now have the perfect blend of function and style. People are not tempted to just throw on shorts because they can. They must wear pants. And with pants comes teh decision as to which pair of pants to wear. And in that decision making process comes everything that goes along with choosing a wardrobe.

This is getting ridiculous. I think that I just like the way girls look in sweaters.

Is washing your hair before going to the salon like brushing your teeth before going to the dentist?

In being unemployed, I have found that there are all these things that I would like to do with myself that I am just not doing. Though it is not really fair to do this to myself, given that I have been spending much time in the theatre in the past few days, it seems to me that I am not being a particularly productive member of society. I consider briefly the fact that in my position as "something" at the old job did not particularly endear myself as a productive member of society before, but this does not seem to lighten my mood at all in the long run.

I consider my friends' jobs and think that maybe I had it all wrong. That maybe work isn't such a big deal and that maybe I should reconsider. And I then have to realize that this is not a complete stray from the working world, not a complete denial of everything that "working" stands for. But it's merely a hiatus of sorts. You know, a time for me to figure things out without having to feel guilty about doing it on someone else's dime. See, I have never really figured out how to take advantage of other people which seems like a noble trait, but is really just indicative of a chump.

On the other hand, this is now a chump who doesn't have to go to work today and can go out and enjoy the weather. So there.

Also, I finally hit a deadline for storytime. Small miracles or something like that.

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