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Thursday July 13, 2000, 02:29

I am reminded of staying up all night sophomore year of college, packing up my room and getting ready to move out. In two hours a taxi will come to get me and bring me to the airport, and I will fly to Chicago to meet my parents to go on vacation. Be jealous. I know I will have a great time. Away from work. Away from the city. Away from pretty much everything.

I spent today doing some work things, writing a script to view my pictures better (see pictures along the river and pictures from a park, most recently) and doing some thinking about other projects. This was done fairly much on the sly, and between other work things. Also written was a document to replace me in the office. A "What to do when shit goes ill" document that will have them, no doubt, scrambling for the phone to call my voice mail when they have issues. And I will laugh at my voice mail. Ha ha ha!

I am torn. I want to be needed. My ego likes that. On the other hand, boy that's something I really don't want to deal with. "The printer won't print." "Can we backup the server?" "The internet doesn't work." Truth be told, however, these are all nice diversions from my day. For any given problem, there is a solution, be it to reboot the computer to calling someone to yell at them. Currently, I don't see any of those answers in the work that I am doing. Taking an objective view of the situation, it seems that I could apply any of this to my job. Make some calls, yell at some people. B

I'm going on vacation. I mentioned that, right? I will not think about the work I don't want to think about. I will note that there is probably a year-old database schema in my notebook from the last time I was going to automate all of the record label's mailing addresses and all. But I never got around to that. Too bad they don't have money to pay for me.

An urge to listen to the musical that we did three summers ago in my home town. I'm not exactly sure where this urge came from, but it's here, and now I am listening to the music, and it is making me very happy. Remembering friends. Remembering living and breathing and working computers and theatre, in tandem. Making it happen. Wondering where my ability to stay up late went.

My eyes are getting heavy and I look at my past journal entries and note that most of them were written in the dead of night. Night drifting into morning. It was not uncommon for me to write about the sunrise. And now I am having trouble keeping my eyes open even writing this.

I'm getting old.

Or something else.

Darkest Peru. That is where Paddington Bear is originally from. Where did that tidbit of information come from? It was in my head today as we were talking about game shows today. I wasn't particularly enamored of Paddington when I was growing up. And yet the phrase "Darkest Peru" stands out.

Hi synapses.

I didn't say hello to a woman walking her dogs this morning. I have been escaping into my headphones lately on my walk to work and was absorbed in Blue Man Group this morning as I passed by and pet a dog. Holding the leash was a woman with black dyed hair and jeans. She looked like a pleasant person, but I, in my own musically isolated world did not have the opportunity to say anything.

I stopped by a park on my way to the office. Truthfully, I stopped in to see if I could intercept the woman coming around with her dogs. But once in I stopped to watch the children in camp. Remember summer camp?

I have been working so hard lately on things completely unrelated to work that it seems that my job is taking the role played in college by classes. A necessary evil in my life as I am living it now, so were classes then. The difference, as I see it, is that classes did not require me to sit in one spot for over eight hours a day. This throws my internal balance completely off.

I have not, this means, had the chance to live my life, instead spending life traveling back and forth to the office, the only change of scenery coming from the changing of computer monitors.

This is pretty. So is this. So am I.

One hours, forty-five minutes until the taxi arrives.

I think it is time for a shower.

04:33

I always overpack for trips.

sapphireblue - Instant Message 04:33:55
heh. girl. 

well, you know.

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