[astigmatic much?] pith.org content, daily-like
most recently
archive

Friday June 23, 2000, 12:22

I will now write about what it is like to become a mindless drone in corporate America even though I work for a company with two founders, one full-time employee (me) and two full-time summer interns (students at the school where all the full time folk went not so long ago). I work for a startup that thinks it should be a big-time company.

I used to think that I would want to quit my job. Every day I would say to someone "I want to quit my job and move back to New York."

Now I just sort of sit around in front of my computer, watch the other people around, and surf the web so that I can fill my head with intelligent things to say when inevitably someone comes by and asks me what I'm doing and what I've been doing for the past week when I am in the office, presumably getting paid to do something.

So I used to think that this was the worst possible thing in the world and I wasn't thinking or doing anything important with my life, just out of school and flailing around aimlessly. But recently, I think that they've broken me. I'm still not really enjoying myself, but I come in to work and I try to do my job and then I leave and I go out or I go home and read or play on the computer and

I've just become complacent.

I went to a gallery opening last night in my town (again, my town which is actually part of the city but not really part of the city because it's far away from the downtown parts of the city, so I will call it my town) and realized that I am both very young and so very unhip.

I decided to keep my shoes. The new shoes which are now boring holes in the backs of my feet because they are made out of hard leather and my ankles are made out of soft skin. I'm only hoping that the really cute girl at the Fluevog store with the multi-colored hair and the capri pants (who, incidentally was the girl who helped me try to find big pants at the raver kid store last week right after I had bought these shoes for the first time) wasn't lying when she said that the shoes would break in.

Brian tells me that looking at cute girls has become something of a character trait for me, like long hair or being sarcastic. Basically, he said, ever since I've started being horny all the time. Perhaps I should do something about that. I mean, if I'm not going to actually do anything about it then I should stop fixating so much, right? Yeah.

Standing around in the gallery (the home of the artist Cynthia von Buhler) I realized that I had no basis for talking with any of the artists kicking around the space. I could go off on the Internet and how it connects people and all that, but really, I don't know jack about art.

I just got my DSL modem in the mail today.

This might be me settling in. I really hope not, because I look at my life and it's just sort of ok. I'm not doing the art things that I'd hoped. And my job isn't what I'd hoped it would be. And I'm still not all to proud to tell people what I do (or even can describe it to them when they ask) and I don't even have a carpet in my living room.

On the other hand, I get to do this stuff during the day and the full-time thing helps pay for my computer habit, so.

This is where that "one day I woke up and I was 50 and my whole life had slipped away from me" thing comes from, right?

My sister graduates from high school this weekend.

I'm going home for that.

[ permanent link ]

[ email love | your love | consumer love ]

------------------

search the past

remember the past

1999
    aug 04 05 06 08 09 11 12 15 17 22 26 30
    sep 01 03 07 12 20 28
    oct 04 14 18 22
    nov 02 07 12 19 25 26 27
    dec 12 15 18 28 31

2000
    jan 02 06 11 12 18 29
    feb 03 10 14 17 21 23 28 29
    mar 05 06 20 22 25 26
    apr 02 05 06 08 09 10 12 13 17 20 21 24 25 28 29
    may 03 05 08 11 12 15 17 17b 18 18b 21 23 25 29 30 31
    jun 01 01b 03 06 07 08 10 13 14 16 18 21 23 25 30
    jul 03 06 09 10 13 16 26
    aug 02 03 04 08 10 17 21 25 29
    sep 06 07 12 13 18 24
    oct 06 11 12 19 30 31
    nov 08 11 22 26 30
    dec 01 10 14 21 30

2001
    jan 01 09 14 16 30
    feb 11 15 20 22
    mar 06 08 09 21 25 30
    apr 01 04 05 09 13 18 23 24 25 28
    may 04 09 11 14 16 17 21 25 31
    jun 02 08 20 21 28 29
    jul 07 13 17 28
    aug 14 24 26
    sep 09 12 23 24
    oct 10 26 28 31
    nov 11 17 18 28 30
    dec 02 08 15 18 26

2002
    jan 03 07 08 18 20 23
    feb 04 05 17 19 22
    mar 06 10 13 15 17
    apr 13 16 19 26
    may 03 13 16 21
    jun 08 15 21
    jul 03 05 10 18 24
    aug 03 18
    sep 11 20
    oct 03 05
    nov 10
    dec 30

2003
    jan 19
    feb 04 14 27
    mar 10 23 31
    apr 11 15
    may 26
    jun 16 29
    aug 17
    sep 15
    oct 08
    nov 30
    dec 11 24 28

2004
    jan 06 23 30
    feb 01 21
    mar 04 09
    apr 15
    may 02 10
    jul 03
    aug 02 16 30
    oct 04 17
    nov 28
    dec 28

2005
    jan 03 24
    mar 24
    may 28
    aug 01 10
    sep 03
    oct 12 28
    dec 25

2006
    jan 01 07 16
    feb 02 13 28
    mar 12 13
    apr 17

other things to look at

back home