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December 18, 1999, 22:59

i feel compelled to write about a couple of things.

i've always said that the one thing that i really love about the internet is that you can be anybody, and that who you are really doesn't matter. actually, those are two separate things, but i actually do live both of them. the latter is the one is question here. i honestly believe that the internet can act as the great equalizer (for all those intelligent and affluent enough, but that's really beyond the scope of what i want to talk about).

however, i also know that the first thing i do whenever i go to somebody's homepage is that i go to their "about" page because i want to know everything about that person, including what they look like. helps to put a face to a name and words, and all that. do people get more credit in my mind if they're intelligent and attractive? perhaps. it's probably best if i never do find pictures of people, because that tends to slant everything i think about people.

i did run across this wonderful thing today, however. it's called "I am Cuter Than You" and it's a club for people who are cuter than you are. Cuter, by their definition, but cuter none the less. this is bullshit, i really just wanted an excuse to link to them.

this does bring up the concept of community, however. i find that communities are great, and virtual communities are pretty neat too, but even more exciting are virtual communities based around real communities. i love peeking in on virtual communities because it goes me the chance to look into the lives that other people are leading, and sure, live them vicariously. but even more impressive is when i can peek into these lives and realize that they are all intermingled and that i can see a situation from one of any different angles. i think that's why mtv's "the real world" is so interesting. i mean sure it's a load of crap, but it's a virtual community (well, virtual in that i'm not really there, and also virtual since it is a constructed thing meant to sell on television, but whatever). this whole voyeurism thing just makes me realize that i have to get the hell out of my house more often.

which brings me to this other point, which is that I, after spending four months on couches and various living situations which were never my own, I have finally found an apartment. I have settled for less than wonderful, and in retrospect (back to this morning), i think i realize that the apartment might be a bit small, but i will avoid all of that and focus on the positives.

i actually think that that last bit particularly clinched it for me. i got up this morning, fucked around a bit, watched a movie with brenan frasier called "still breathing" and then called the management company. "sure, we've got something available for the first" they said.

i went into the office, went upstairs, looked at the apartment, realized that it didn't suck so bad, went downstairs and dropped the first month's rent.

we will see how this thing all pans out.

if nothing else, it means that i'll have a real phone line and my own bed.

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