I had this startling revelation coming home from today. I saw a couple walking down the street, hand in hand. And I realized that I was lonely. But as I looked down on myself, I realized that I really didn't have what it takes to really take part in that oh so human activity we call "interaction."

Depressing, isn't it? That's what I thought. But I realized that I do take part in interaction, but of a different sort. It's actually one of which I'm you are all aware. I talk to people through the computer.

Okay, that's it, I don't like the way this is going. And it being a random thought, I'd better keep it as such. I suppose that I really do take part in human interaction, but what I really don't like is human contact. I have found that I just can't deal. Whether it's a result of my childhood (which I hope I'm still in. I can't deal with growing up, either), or whether it's just the way I am, I have never really been comfortable with other people.

I'm sitting here, listening to people talking, people, lying close together on the ground, completely comfortable with each other, and I find myself on the outside looking in. Always, on the outside looking in I am. I remember a picture that's tucked away in some album somewhere of me at a birthday party, and all of these girls are playing in a tiny play house looking out at the camera, and there I am, on the outside, looking in.