(go on home)

wacked up silly quotes

"Emacs is actually infinity in software form."

- PJ Brindisi, at GoRuCo

27 april 2008, 14:17

Authentic Personal message at 16:16:16 on Wed Sep 29 1999
From: wack <mcc> on cslab9g
To: jcn@local-realm

dude, the guy who was blurring spam 4 years ago is back and is still taking 123

"Are you one of those recreational smokers?" - jcn

"It's either this or cycling." - greg sewell

23 september 1999

bfisk2: i finally dropped sprint. it felt kind of good, like taking a huge dump.

5 september 1999, 20:40

"The key thing, is that I'm an idiot."

- Oliver Sharp, my boss

13 august 1999, 14:04

"So, let's say you're a crustacean - I mean, let's face it, you're just not going to screw with something that's big and hard."

- Jarrett Byrnes

"Is that Kafka? Cool."

- Freddie O'Connell

19 may 1999

"No! You got some last night with another girl! I'm not going to be erotic with you!"

- Andrea Tartaro to jcn

14 april 1999

missy says, "i've had cum up my nose before.....mono fun"

8 april 1999, 12:31 on the hellyeah moo

"After three days you end up with a pumpkin covering your crotch... whoa."

- Jarrett Byrnes

22 march 1999, 15:19

"Fuck can be a really fun word..."

- Andrea Tartaro

22 march 1999, 01:03

"So, basically, this show is Porn set to Ave Maria?" - Jarrett Byrnes

"Well, yeah, of course." - Harry Barandeis

"What we really need is more girls..." - jcn

"But not integrated into the section, just... like... cheerleaders." - Andrew Schulak

15 february 1999, 18:58

"All these cats are making me horny."

- Brian Fisk

7 february 1999, 01:33

"Dude, hexane's not cool."

- Dan Rosen

3 february 1999, 17:17

"I guess you're not as good of a butt scratcher as I am."

- Andrea Tartaro

30 january 1999, 23:36

"I almost got my dad a domain name for christmas... but he wouldn't use it." - Brian Fisk

"How do you wrap something like that?" - Chris Creed

20 january 1999, 21:10

scribbler says, "if your teeth are gross, thats because you're a disgusting slob."
scribbler says, "if you're genitals are gross, well, everyone's genitals are gross.

20 january 1999, 10:54

"Of course I'm in heels, bitch. I'm a fucking transvestite."

- [ name withheld ]

1 january 1999, 1:21

"It's okay. I just spent the last 10 minutes taping Bob's breasts."

- Sam Musher

1 jan 1999, 00:43

"I'll make you jealous. I've got mad cleavage."

- Andrea Tartaro

1 jan 1999, 00:29

"Yeah, your children will be midgets." - Dan Rosen

"That depends on which cousin I marry." - Channing Moore

18 december 1998, 21:26

i do a search for snork on the web. i come up with porn.
- jcn

I do a search for 'cheese' on the web and I come up with porn. what's new
- Soren Spies

14 december 1998, 10:38

annette [to bryan]: she gave you a handjob in english?

- Annette McCaskey

14 december 1998, 10:24

"What is it that makes some people ... complete tools and other people, like you and me, cool? And yet we all study cs..."

- Andrea Tartaro to Danny Lonborg

11 december 1998, 12:23

"I could work tonight or I could go get some." - jcn

"No, go get some. You'll feel better working if you get some." - Andrea Tartaro

5 december 1998, 21:27

"I have issues showering. I keep thinking about that game."

- Jesse Kurlancheek

21 november 1998, 18:05

"It's not wierd. It's not wierd. It's ethnic."

- Sarah Johnson

21 november 1998

"It's a motel. I was getting sketchy thoughts, i don't know about you."

- Sam Musher

11 november 1998, 20:36

"I have a theory that if I rub my butt, Andy will appear."

- Dan Rosen

6 november 1998, 21:40

"Look at me I'm Carol Channing." - Brian Fisk

"What?" - jcn

"Look at me I'm Carol Channing." - Brian Fisk

"What?" - jcn

"Look at me I'm Carol Channing." - Brian Fisk

"What?" - jcn

"You're supposed to say, 'You suck.'" - Brian Fisk

4 november 1998, 21:38

"Danny is an asshole. You, Jesse, are just a jerk."

- Andrea Tartaro

21 october 1998, 18:36

Authentic Personal message at 20:56:30 on Mon Oct 19 1998
From: Jesse Kurlancheek <jesse> on cslab4f
To: jcn@local-realm

we need hot friends (or mildly attractive at least) that will take their clothes off for us, so we can have "hot horny college women

"He does know the difference between a computer and a hole in his ass ... he doesn't stick the ethernet up his butt."

- Channing Moore

18 october 1998, 02:47

"Why are you doing that, and why does it feel so good?"

- Mike Rubin to Jeff Potter

16 october 1998, 19:48

"There's no need to use the web. I have the entire web in my backpack."

- Dan Gould

1 october 1998, 18:04

i have a non-tesselating cube
i can hardly keep from wetting myself

- zwrites from Lindsey Shinn

22 september 1998, 02:44

"There is no cheese identity. That's why we don't let Seth have root."

- Soren Spies

6 september 1998, 13:00

"But why did they keep her in the waffle iron?" - Matt Pillsbury

"Well that's where I keep my mom..." - Liz Rodwell

2 september 1998, 00:00ish

"i think channing's not my girlfriend"

- Dan Rosen

18 august 1998, 20:55

"I want to come up with Soren Spies packet radio rube goldberg devices."

- Dan Rosen

7 august 1998, 19:00

"Where would we be without lesbians?" - Dan Rosen

"Paris." - jcn

13 july 1998, 20:00

"I might buy a frosty." - Matt Chotin

"You might buy a brothel?" - Saul Nadler

a Wendy's in Seekonk, 11 july, 1998, about 1pm

"How did it get from my head to your pants?"

- Brian Fisk

27 june 1998

"Oh, I don't mean birthday in the literal sense, I mean the day I was first conceptualized..."

- Brian Fisk

27 june 1998

Authentic Personal message at 19:08:34 on Thu Jun 25 1998
From: dharmabum on cslab4c
To: jcn@local-realm

i think no matter what, we all want more sex

"... but if I get out it won't be an orgy."

- Dan Rosen

21 june 1998, 22:07

"Oh boy! I get to sleep with Mike Castelle!"

- Andrea Tartaro

8 june 1998, 21:05

"It's weird when you blow your nose and get bean sprouts..." - jcn

"Even weirder is when you get spaghetti..." - Dan Rosen

8 june 1998

"You know Matt, if we're gonna have stuffing we should probably scrap the potatoes and have some green vegetables . . . like corn."

- Andrew Schulak

8 june 1998

"i'm scared again.
all i can think about is computers and sex."

- jcn writing to Danny Lonborg while studying for their Shakespeare final

13 may 1998, 02:32

"i never knew how many porn stars and realtors there were named annette. frightening really."

- Annette McCaskey

6 may 1998

"No, there's no authentication. It's totally insecure. We rely on some weak assumptions... like honor."

- Matt Chotin, during the cs32 Comic Chat demo

5 may 1998

"Coding is hard!"

- Soren Spies

5 may 1998, 02:38, cs32 demo day

"...so, maybe the large stuffed bunny represents..." - Jason Lango

"... seed!" - Dave Powell

4 may 1998

"What does dan gould do? he just walks around. i just don't understand."

- Ignacy Zulawski

01 may 1998, 01:12

"I mean, if it's not a drug that's going to cure aids, then it might as well be ..." - jcn

".... one that causes it?" - Brian Fisk, regarding Viagra, Pfizer's new impotence medication

24 april 1998, 00:45

"Why don't you go outside and get a girlfriend?" - jcn

"Shut up! I'm happy programming." - Danny Lonborg

"Yeah, but you'd be happy with a girlfriend, too." - jcn

"I can't GET a girlfriend! I CAN program!" - Danny Lonborg

17 april 1998, 13:29

"do you get paid to TA, or are you forced to TA?" - Matt Klein (prefroshling)

"both." - mcc

14 april 1998, 10:25

"It was like being in the womb without the good points. It was warm and uncomfortable."

- Mike Rubin

8 april, 1998, 23:00

"Millions of men now have stiffies thanks to your dad."

- Brian Fisk

6 april 1998, 19:00

From: Stephanie Schaaf <sas> on susie
Time: Fri Apr 3 1998 at 15:31:18

Well, I'm just a sketchy guy, I guess...

"The robot's not going to kill you, Gideon's a nice man, and Mike's too depressed right now to do anything."

- John "Spike" DiMartino, convincing Phil Levis that he's safe in the AI Lab

3 april 1998, 03:00

"Why do I hang out with you people?" - Brian Fisk

"Have you looked at yourself?" - jcn

24 march 1998, 23:59

"I keep getting mail from these people about, like, golf balls."

- Thomas Crulli

20 march 1998, 01:10

"That's what my pants would say" - jcn

"I am your pants." - Danny Lonborg

11 march 1998, 19:24

"Argh. I need a stiff drink... of Dew."

- Dave Powell

10 march 1998, 23:50

"This Dew is all I've had to eat all day." - Jason Lango

"Whoa! You've got a Dew?" - Michael Castelle

"I'm don't have angst. I'm just depressed. Angst is trendy."

- John "Spike" DiMartino

27 february 1998, 03:39

"Oh geez, I always wanted to be your own private puppy, Adam."

- John "Spike" DiMartino

27 february 1998, 02:40

- "Not that we don't like Canadians, it's just that they're different."

- Soren Spies

24 february 1998, 17:25

"Middle school was all about algebra and infidelity"

- Lucas Ives

21 february 1998

"Yeah. He's so last semester."

- Ericka Tucker, re Rob Soule

20 february 1998, 00:15

"Yeah, he's off with his girlfriend making widgets..."

- Seth Proctor

19 february 1998, 03:39

"Yeah... but they ooze more..."

- Sarah Schmitt, on children

16 february 1998, 02:57

"But then my mom took me to Radio Shack, and it was all good."

- Soren Spies

15 february 1998
"don't i know you?..." - E. Gordon Gee

"yeah, we emailed you about the cheese" - jcn

"oh... you're the guys with the cheese"- E. Gordon Gee

"yeah" - jcn

"well, i figured if you were dumb enough to send that, i would be dumb enough to respond..."- E. Gordon Gee

14 february 1998, 07:40

"Yeah, Tom and I will masturbate together..."

- Soren Spies ( regarding brown.cs.vi )

11 february 1998, 00:27

"My nightmares have been riddled with urban terror."

Mike Castelle

6 february 1998, 12:43

"You and your acordian playing wasps are biased against me and my bovine pals." - Channing Moore

"You mean like Jason?" - Dan Rosen

"Yeah. We're gonna come gore you with our horns, yo." - Channing Moore

2 february, 1998

"I'm no-oping like a motherfucker."

- Mike Castelle, stuck in an endless loop

february 1, 1998, 04:05

"There's a difference between elitism and making fun of tools."

- Mike Castelle

january 20, 1998, 17:50

"I would legitimately like to see Dave Powell get laid."

- Kevin Ingersoll

january 19, 1998, 23:05

"I'm going to want take off my dress at that point anyway..."

- Valerie Green

january 19, 1998, 23:00

"I've never done the cs crowd... well, you know..."

- Valerie Green

jaunary 19, 1998, 22:30

"Ramen and swiss cake rolls are the answer to world hunger."

-Sam Hazlehurst

january 13, 1998

"i'll swallow e.g. gee's cock if he pays me to do his webpage..."

- zwrite from Dan Rosen

jaunary 7, 1998, 01:01

"photoshop is like boobs. you'll never stop playing with it."

- Dan Rosen

january 3, 1998, 01:40

"It's no big whoop. I mean, I'm still going to have to get up tomorrow and put on pants."

- Tim Garrett, on graduation

december 18, 1997

"I'm going to do some mad studying now. Wake me up when I'm done studying."

- Jon Moter

december 17, 1997, 21:30

"the only other person i know from Oregon is [person], but I don't think *she* would have done an animal."

- Nate Stahl

december 14, 1997, 01:15

Authentic Personal message at 22:14:21 on Sat Dec 13 1997
From: grobnoL ynnaD <dl> on cslab1f
To: jcn@local-realm

oh my god. my terminals are appallingly fast.

"I did something cool and useless with VRML"

- Greg Seidman

december 13, 1997, 21:10

"I just found a cs31 Ani quote."

- Danah Beard

december 12, 1997, 23:20

"I am now morally against using virtual memory."

- Andrea Tartaro

december 11, 1997, 21:25

Authentic Personal message at 04:13:32 on Sat Dec 6 1997
From: Shoe <ahs> on usul
To: jcn@local-realm

im trshed

"Jesse. Why would I pay to jump out of a perfectly good plane?"

- Danny Lonborg

5 december 1997 15:48

"I have no problem being a slut."

- jcn

22 november 1997 23:47

"He could be a cs major but he doesn't have the social skills"

- jcn

22 november 1997

"They're going to expose castelle to a whole bunch of radiation." - dl

"...to see if i go back to normal." - mcc

22 november 1997

"I'm paying my pimp... one dollar."

- Andrea Tartaro

13 november 1997 01:37

"I have to reprint the slides. I lost them." -Pia

"Use ps1t. It shoots them out like a bitch." -Shoe

10 november 1997

"Friction is such a buzzkill."

- Sam Hazlehurst

3 november 1997 18:20

"Maybe I'll drop out of school and become a professional warrior."

- Seth Proctor

29 october 1997 22:03

"More sexual innuendos, less context switching!"

- Stephanie Schaaf

24 october 1997

"maybe i should start crack...
oops i mean riscque."

- Andrea Tartaro

22 october 1997

Subject: face != web
Newsgroups: brown.cs.general
Date: 16 Oct 1997 21:02:25 GMT
Organization: Brown University
From: dmb@doorknob.cs.brown.edu (Jon Moter)

"i hate this world."

"you hate this world? I like this world. The next one, I don't like."

"no, I meant, the world we live in."

- mcc to matt's sister playing Sonic the Hedgehog, Level 1-2

13 october 1997

"Have you ever been to Iceland? I mean, are these the kind of people who just sit around and say, 'Hey, let's go to the dick museum?'"

- mcc

9 october 1997, 21:00

"I want you to make me clean."

- Emily B.

"You know, I've eaten a lot of silly string in my time, and i could tell you exactly how it tastes."

- mcc

9 october 1997, 20:50

"So, what's the point? You eat the bushes and capture the monsters?"

- Jill, the SGI representative, at the Zelda demo

8 october 1997, 11:48

"So you take the match, you drag it over the blunt, and it lights. Hey, that'd be pretty easy."

- Shoe, on cs15 development

8 october 1997, 11:43

"Hello? More cheese?"

- Jeff Alexander

5 october 1997, 21:43

"That's why rumor is called Nate 2.0"

- mcc

30 september 1997, 21:43

"I'm not afraid of Dorinda running in here naked with a machine gun, I'm afraid of Gary Van Dewalle running in here naked with a machine gun."

- Nate Stahl

30 september 1997, 21:40

"Seth, why are you getting Windows books?" - Soren

"Because you can man things in unix, you can't man things in Windows." - Seth Proctor

30 september 1997

"If Shoe wanted to hook up with a guy, I would've hooked up with him!"

- Nate Stahl

28 september 1997, 2:55am

"Damn the United Arab Emirates."

- Seth Proctor

25 september 1997

"These are not the three words you're looking for."

- mcc

13 september 1997

"What do you think is the average age of last eyelid inversion?"

- seh

11 september 1997

"Everyone has AIDS on the Internet."

- Brian Fisk (referring to undoubtedly countless threads on newsgroups such as alt.music.dave-matthews, alt.music.alternative, etc)

6 september 1997

"Mathematics in action... on my pants..."

- mcc

06 sept 1997 02:45

"What happened to the stripping?!"

- Andries van Dam

01 sept 1997 16:30

"What's my sign for shitty?"

- Shoe

01 sept 1997 16:09

"What can you do with two pillows and a roll of duct tape?"

- Andrea Tartaro

"If it's cheese of the moment, the moment will always be gouda."

- Seth Proctor

29 aug 1997

"Franco grabbed me in the elevator the other day."

- James Todd

"Nobody looks pretty covered in Steve Reiss's urine."

- Nate Stahl

"she makes me forget how to form complete sentences!"

- Danny Lonborg

14 aug 1997 14:17

"all I know is, girls who play Centipede at the Met Cafe are dangerous."

- mcc

12 aug 1997

Authentic Personal message at 17:10:41 on Mon Aug 11 1997
From: grobnoL ynnaD <dl> on delay
To: jcn@local-realm

"I've almost forgotten that when you pick up any phone, you're supposed to say 'Sun Lab.'"

"I've decided that running linux is kind of like having a pet."

- Danny Lonborg

8 july 1997 13:11

"love hurts in your stomach. lust hurts in your pants."

- Danny Lonborg

24 june 1997 02:03

"...so I gave up all drugs..." - Keith Adams

"Even heroin?" - Dave Jackson

"Yes, Dave, even heroin." - Keith Adams

"So how was it?" - random chick at the internet cafe

"Your warez are not elite enough for us, d00d." - Sam Hazlehurst

"What does that mean!?!?" - random chick

"You have to understand -- we're hackers." - Mike Castelle

"Aside from being kinda bad for you, ... heroin is kinda cool..."

- Keith Adams

10 june 1997

"Don't turn around. It's the scene from the poster for The Craft behind us..."

- Castelle

22 may 1997 01:00ish

"You're such a masochist, Castelle, but in such the wrong way."

- Sam Hazlehurst

20 may 1997 13:10

"you two are beginning to have a relationship worthy of Brown sexual misconduct."

- Samantha Musher

13 may 1997 22:29

"You ever have ytalk conversations with yourself?"

- jcn

13 may 1997 22:21

"Hey! There's nothing wrong with being a slut puppy!"

- Sarah Schmitt

13 may 1997 21:58

"Go shove an angel up somewhere..."

- Ludmilla Meltser

7 may 1997

"That's it! I'm going to delete bruce and all its code." - Shoe

"ooooohhhhhh..." - Danny Lonborg

[ Shoe falls to the ground ]

3 may 1997 19:42

"Castelle, the bugs are taking it up the ass..."

- Keith Adams

3 may 1997 03:00

"Espresso tastes the way coffee smells, whereas most coffee just tastes like... weasel spit."

- Dave Powell

2 may 1997 01:32

"You're both my head TA's, so you're both going to get to hit it with me..." - Emily B.

"At the same time." - Jon Gherardini and Shoe

1 may 1997 11:45

"My uncle has really bad teeth because he likes electronics."

- Ande

1 may 1997 18:47

"It's giving me gas. It's actively affecting my GI."

- Oliver Hurst-Hiller, on the art piece

30 april 1997 04:50

"/usr/include/stdio.h", line 242: Error: This object was declared before with a different language.

- Shoe, breaking programming...

"I wouldn't want to have any male children." - xxx

"Why's that?" - yyy

"'cause I'm a pedophile." - xxx

28 april 1997 03:13

"It'll all come together in the end. And if it doesn't, we'll just shove a Frutopia bottle up our asses and smile for the camera."

- Shoe

26 april 1997 23:40

"Not to brag or anything, but our graphics are so fast I have to throw up."

- mcc

26 april 1997 10:23

"My bladder's all ready to piss all over the graphics lab."

- mcc

25 1997 23:2

"Let's bust out there with the manliness, Jon."

- Sarah Schmitt

25 april 1997 21:13

(Authentication: Authentic from host: cslab8b)
To: * at 17:01:48 Fri Apr 25 1997
From: Jon Moter <jbm>
> (Authentication: Authentic from host: cslab8a)
> To: * at 17:01:31 Fri Apr 25 1997
> From: grobnoL ynnaD <dl>
> give me a movie title.
Sorority Sex Kittens II

(Authentication: Authentic from host: cslab5e)
To: * at 17:01:47 Fri Apr 25 1997
From: Andrew H. Schulak <ahs>
> (Authentication: Authentic from host: cslab8a)
> To: * at 17:01:31 Fri Apr 25 1997
> From: grobnoL ynnaD <dl>
> give me a movie title.
Sorority Sex Kittens Part II

- damn, these guys are in sync...

"It's ebonics, man, don't even try to understand."

- Envall Morgan

21 april 1997 01:09

"Where the fucking long piece at... Oh! Yo momma!

- Envall Morgan

21 april 1997 01:08

"You're toast the next time I get a long piece."

- Envall Morgan

21 april 1997 01:07

"Castelle, what kind of crack are you on?" - jcn

"Strawberry flavored crack." - Envall Morgan

21 april 1997 01:05

"I have malnourished breasts."

- Sarah Schmitt

20 april 1997 18:34

"Without crack, you just have whore, and what fun is that?"

- jcn

18 april 1997 18:39

"...the keychain with the ooze?" - Sarah Schmitt

"Uh, Sarah, that's a condom..." - Lance Nathan

17 april 1997

"California? Soren, I'm gonna kill you..."

- Sam Jackson

18 april 1997 15:13

"I'm not a lesbian, but my boyfriend is."

- Nancy Johnston

18 april 1997 02:33

"No, suck, don't spit."

- Andrea Tartaro

16 april 1997 18:51

"You sluts."

- Andries van Dam

15 april 1997

"There's nothing worse than looking at one of the Microsoft interfaces."

- Steve Reiss, CS32 professor

15 april 1997 15:18

"Database people are the sexual omnivores in the department."

- Mike Rubin

13 april 1997 23:48

"My ass is like a data structure."

- Shoe

13 april 1997 19:05

"I wanna say I'm a bush."

- Shoe

13 april 1997

"So i was sitting at my node, and i saw this girl, and i thought, 'yeah, that'd be alright'... i was horny."

- Shoe

13 april 1997 18:30

(Authentication: Authentic from host: cslab4a)
Instance PERSONAL:
To: * at 16:29:57 Sun Apr 13 1997
From: Andrew H. Schulak <ahs>

shit-bitch <adj> meaning, "good god, you have spoken the word of god."

"You don't have chest hair, do you?"

- Annette Chan-Norris (my mother)

13 april 1997 12:38

"I'm a bio major. I'm supposed to know words."

- Ludmilla Meltser

12 april 1997 09:52

"I've got to get my mom to turn on the ftp daemon."

- mcc at the warlords meeting

6 april 1997

"Say something smart about how this sucks..."

- Paula Zaslavsky

5 april 1997 23:01

"my hairy ball got all wacky. you know, the rubber part... hey, shut up!"

- jcn

5 april 1997 22:51

"unix is like new jersey. it was once a nice, pristine place. then the europeans came... and then the mob took over... The same can be said about the WIN32 API, but they skipped the first step..."

- Tom Doeppner

4 april 1997 16:42

"According to Mike Shapiro, you do not want to have your mom in the kernel."

- Dan Gould

4 april 1997 01:45

"If you tie me up and take my clothes off, I'm sure there's some grounds to suing... and believe me, I'd do it." - Andrea Tartaro

"Huh? Ahh!" - Erik Wile

3 april 1997 18:05

"...his fifth class being sanskrit..."

"Then he deserves a girlfriend. He wins."

- anonymous conversation in my room about Danny

30 march 1997 01:36

"The only people in my CS class I know are my group of friends, a few random freaks, and that's it."

- Jon Moter

30 march 1997

"What happened to your head?"

- Dan Gould, after seeing Castelle's haircut

30 march 1997 15:08

"No wonder I'm sick all the time. I never wear any clothes."

- Stephanie Schaaf

29 march 1997

"It's great. It's just that they replaced everything but the people..."

- Mike Shapiro, on the improvements in the graphics lab

29 march 1997

"it's not that I don't know where her mouth has been.
it's that I do know where her mouth has been."

- mcc, on not letting danah drink from the same bottle of cola...

Authentic Personal message at 02:14:53 on Sun Mar 23 1997
From: menstruate <dep> on abbott
To: jcn@local-realm

- Dave Powell, and his amazing changing zephyr name

"There's nothing to do but sit here and run WhatsForDinner a lot."

- jcn

20 march 1997

Authentic Personal message at 08:28:37 on Wed Mar 19 1997
From: wack <mcc> on cslab1g
To: dl@local-realm

how can a Republican be that cute?!? or a distant cousin??!!??

"larch has breasts."

- Dan Gould

18 march 1997

"Mike's got some celestial wings."

- Envall Morgan

18 march 1997

"But it doesn't finish before it's done."

- Soren Spies

18 march 1997 17:45

"If you blow hard enough it'll do weird stuff to your brain."

- Dan Price

15 march 1997 00:52

"Does it bother you that I'm petting you?"

- Andrea Tartaro

"The first row is like flying first class. The ninth row is like flying in the cockpit."

- nfp, on the slab

13 march 1997 22:38

"i refuse to bondage-cyber a prepubescant kid with an overactive libido."

- annette

11 march 1997 23:05

"Am I supposed to bite or suck?"

- Andrea Tartaro

"I'm going to tell you everything you don't want to hear."

- Elaine Chen

8 march 1997

"Shoey, is it still windy outside?" - Emily B.

"Yeah, you wanna go fly a kite?" - Shoe

"You need a body pillow. Or someone to sleep with. But a body pillow you can go out and buy."

- Erik Wile, on sleeping disorders

4 march 1997 12:45

ild: virtual memory exhausted by request for 66 bytes(R)

- Matt Berland breaking something with ild

3 march 1997

"dbx is my seg fault bitch."

- shoe

3 march 1997 02:06

"You're a tool." - random person to seh

"I'm not a tool. I'm a craftsman, I use tools." - seh

"That's the ugliest hack I've seen all day. Do we have your resume?"

- 2nd nature rep to seh

SCOOP Job fair, 26 february 1997

"Did i just say thank you?" - jcn

"I think so." - eric green


"Bless you" - eric

"Thank you" - jcn

"What just happened? Who just sneezed? Did you sneeze?" - eric

"I think so" - jcn

"I thought i sneezed..." - eric

2 march 1997 22:18

"I used to POKE things just for fun."

- Soren Spies

1 march 1997 11:43

"Yo, gravity is fucking weird."

- Rob Hu

28 february 1997 03:05

"I really didn't have a life before I joined the cs department."

- Emily B.

28 february 1997 02:19

"can't find smalldick(.com)"

- Jon Moter (in regards to a web page, of course)

24 february 1997 02:41

"blowme.com is apparently not what you'd expect it to be."

- Shoe

24 february 1997 02:40

"It was dark, and Lubo was there... It was like a bad dream."

- Soren Spies, CS4 TA

22 feb 1997

"I want to put my face in the spaghetti. I think it would be comfortable."

- Paula Zaslavsky

17 feb 1997 13:52

"Any self respecting drag queen should have the decency to do something about their chest hair before getting into drag."

- [ name witheld ]

15 feb 1997 01:48

"Downtown Providence is a Red Light district. It doesn't have a Red Light district. It is one."

- nrs

12 feb 1997 22:27

"Jon, you could get paid to do this..."

- Andrea Tartaro

12 feb 1997 20:49

"What's her name?" "What's she look like?" "Where's her web page?"

- trying to set up a girl with a cs major...

7 feb 1997

"...that's because there are too many tools clicking on never..."

- shoe, commenting on why things always break

4 feb 1997 15:20

cslab9a ~/src/TEP -> appt
appt: Exec format error. Wrong Architecture.

- Danny Lonborg breaking programming once again

1 Feb 1997 16:51

"Coding conventions can bite my ass."

- Nate Stahl

29 jan 1997

"$3.25? It's so hard to keep track of all these things." - Fred

"Fred. It's just one thing." - jcn

29 jan 1997 20:03

"I did things with her that I thought only happened in Snoop Doggy Dogg videos."

- Andy Miller

"You have no idea how close I just came to dying."

- Anne Stone

19 jan 1997 03:45

"Shit! Milk is good!"

- mcc

16 jan 1997 14:43

Authentic Personal message at 13:46:07 on Wed Jan 15 1997
From: Michael Castelle <mcc> on betty
To: dl@local-realm

hey fatties... zwrite me when you get back from your meeting bot,
esp. if you plan on surfing for food. fuck! why am I hungry every day?!?

"Thank goodness for /dev/null"

- Danny Lonborg

14 jan 1997 21:15

"Way too silly? This is cs4. We like silly."

- Seth Proctor

14 jan 1997 21:15

"In the course accounts you should alias Jon to /dev/null. Then, ideally, you could mike < jon."

- Jon Moter

14 jan 1997 21:14

"We only have one key to the fucking suite." - dan

"Peter Shah will burn in hell for that." - seth

"Peter Shah will burn in hell anyway." - mike

13 jan 1997 02:40

"I love it when I know everything for no particular reason."

- mcc

12 jan 1997 19:30

"I'm doing it for one reason." "Sex?" "No, better. Computers."

- Jordan Eber

6 jan 1997 22:10

"There was one guy who wasn't a geek... of course they kicked him out."

- Sarah Schmitt (on magnet schools)

20 dec 1996 16:29

Authentic Personal message at 16:57:54 on Thu Dec 19 1996
From: Mahesh Madhav <mjm> on cslab3d
To: jcn@local-realm

seth proctor is snoring
Arent you not allowed to snore
during waitlist?

"After all, having sex in the lab often leads to showing movies..."

- Danny Lonborg

17 dec 1996 06:48

"If girls ever knew, even for an instant, what guys were thinking, they would never stop slapping us." - Jon Moter

"Would that be a bad thing?" - jcn

"It depends on where we slapped you." - Lindsey Shinn

17 dec 1996 06:23

"Some say it's more fun than incest."

- Lindsey Shinn (on cs15) paraphrasing Jacob Tonski's tshirt idea

17 dec 1996 early, too early

"You would give up sex for a year to get Othello done on time?" - Jon Moter

"it's worse than that. i'm starting to think I'd give away sex for a year if I could finish othello on time. - Katherine M.

15 dec 1996

"i told someone recently that i'd sacrifice a year of sex if i could just finish othello on time. that is my one and only desire."

- Katherine M.

14 dec 1996 22:25

"I so want to be vertical."

- Danah Beard

12 dec 1996 23:45

"That's me... Shoe... remote login bitch."

- Shoe

9 dec 1996 17:00

"Magenta is slow."

- Sam Hazlehurst

9 dec 1996 03:05

"I had my first kiss on IRC."

- mcc

9 dec 1996 10:18

"Do I have to keep my foot up here all night to keep you from doing crazy shit?"

- Sarah Finney

8 dec 1996 06:27

"Don't make me laugh... Green generalizes the Poisson-Dirichlet distribution and the distribution of ranked lengths of excursions of a Brownian motion or recurrent Bessel process..."

- mcc (spack) on #math

8 dec 1996 real early in the morning like

"Entropy. What are you gonna do?"

- James Todd

7 dec 1996 20:06 after the lid from his coffee disappeared

cslab9a /u/jcn/src/perl -> man sex
No manual entry for sex.

- solaris

"Then I started sleeping with my best friend. We were bored."

- Danah Beard

6 dec 1996 03:10

"I dated a cheerleader once. She's at Wellesley now, a lesbian... long story."

- Sam Hazlehurst

1 dec 1996

"Just program the CD player"

- Andy Miller

sometime. somewhere.

"What can I say? I'm a beautiful man..."

- Shoe

25 nov 1996 00:02

"Sam, don't question my friedship with Francesca. Just accept it." - Random Euro Freak

"Do I know you?" - Sam Hazlehurst

24 nov 1996 evening ouside josiah's

"Everywhere I go there's always pooh..." - Danny Lonborg

"Yeah, unix is like that..." - Jon Moter

23 nov 1996 2:02

"Why the hell do we have computers in here? All they do is take up space and make sound."

- Matt Berland

21 nov 1996 22:35

"When you say suicide to me my mouth starts to water."

- mcc

21 nov 1996 21:20

"Next comes off the pants and you're all going to see me in my cheetah skin loincloth..."

- Shoe

20 nov 1996 03:19

"Jesse thinks big monitors gives you hairy palms."

- mcc

19 nov 1996 real early in the morning

"...we have a little hooker... and that's me..."

- jes (taken a little out of context, but that makes it better)

"I was going to scream like a woman, but Chris Cantor was there..."

- mcc

"They're all dumb."

- jcn

walking past the language lab one day

"I'm not on good terms with hairy ball."

- Eric Green

"You think I'm a pornographer just because I make erotic films?"

- Shoe

"We're the balls of this Tetris piece."

- Danny Lonborg

"We only hang out with cs people, so you should too."

- Jon Moter

"You know who wanted to ask me out last year but didn't? Me neither."

- Jon Moter

"I'm like /dev/null"

- Jon Moter, after inhaling a cheeseburger

"... what the fuck? ... MCM ..."

- a rather intoxiacated Sam Hazlehurst

"I need someone to go out with, or drugs."

- Eric Green

"A sudden change in acceleration is called a 'jerk.' ... Jerk is what spills your soft drink."

- My calculus book

"This is theory, not [cs]31"

- The cs51 motto

"Hi mom? No, unix."

- Nate Stahl

"I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it."

- Jordan Eber

"We use Sun's compiler... and every once in the while it has a buggy-poo in it..."

- avd opening day of cs15

"...And maybe some oral sex, too."

- jcn

"I can't even monotask!"

- Evan Norris

"If you've got hips you can be seductive... If you don't... you can be seduced."

- Russell Todd

"Lighting is just like a sparc. only different."

- jcn

"I'm not a programmer..."

- John Savage, professor CS4, Introduction to Scientific Computing

"My mother-fucker is like Fred's mom."

- Rob Hu, re: Flying Piper

"You know, unix isn't just about sex... it's about sex and poopy."

- Danny Lonborg

" Nothing to paste "

- FrameMaker during cs16, which baffled even the Frame Master.

"It's not being in the lab at 9:30 on a saturday morning that bothers me
-- it's the fact that I actually finished this project 4 days ago :)"

- mcc, Saturday, Tetris due date

"warning: unknown language, 'pascal' assumed"

- meadow's compiler, when trying to compile Tetris

"You know you're in trouble when you're in the sun lab through a change in weather patterns."

- jcn, after entering the lab at midnight in the pouring rain, and leaving to an [almost] clear sky

"you're smoother than alan thicke baby"

- mcc, experiencing Tetris-induced sleep deprivation in a ytalk session with jcn

"You know how far it is from Dunkin' Donuts to the Sunlab? Two donuts."

- mcc

08 nov 1995 as he walks into the Sunlab at 12:27 am

"The [guy] next to me is trying to blur spam... Blurred spam is cool."

- Michael Castelle

20 oct 1995 01:50 in the Sun Lab [where else?]

This little bit of nonsense on the web was started sometime after I first got this account when I was sitting in the lab with castelle having fun at the expense of a 123 student trying to blur spam. It was late. What can I say?


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