|
tuesday, april 27, 1999, 05:41 if circumstances were different. if i were just starting my college career, instead of ending it. if only things were different, i think we could have been best of friends. granted, we're pretty close now, but i feel like there could have been so much more. so much more time to grow. to learn about each other. and all that. common interests. mutual respect. on the other hand, we might not have liked each other. rivals, perhaps, though unlikely. other factors not even considered. but it's silly to think this way. he and i are friends, and that's the way it is. i'm happy with it. ... i spoke to her today. and i noted that we'd been conveniently avoiding a question the answer to which we both already knew. "what happens at the end of the year?" is the question. "we break up" is the obvious answer. the practical answer. and yet, she's right. there are times when you have to stop holding yourself back from a good thing, just because there are some foreseeable problems. it's strange, you know. i do that too. see a situation, see a problem, and decide that the whole thing's doomed from before it's even started. luckily, we both decided that this was one of those situations. now it's all a matter of pushing the inevitable as far back as possible. ... it's so quiet in the morning. right now, even the birds are asleep.
|