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sunday, february 14, 1999, 02:44 there's a large black anarchy symbol scrawled hastily on my hand. there's a flower stuck into my pendant. i just pulled half a dozen flowers out of my braided hair. my head is finally clearing the sleep out as i look around my study. i'm alone. did i make the right choice? looking back now, i really can't tell. i was on the couch, she was stroking my hair. "are you staying here or going home?" they asked. i mumbled something and they lifted me up. i walked outside with them. "...no, you're just drunk," i was told, to my complaints that i was having trouble walking. i wasn't. just tied. got into the car. "i assume there's nothing there." it was both statement and question. i just don't know. i was in enough of a state to be able to stop myself from getting dragged out the door, if i was so inclined. but i let myself get hoisted up, legs and arms and out the door. and now i go to a cold bed alone and realize that everyone in the house has a warm body next to them tonight. ... what does it say about me that i went to chuck e cheese's tonight for a friend's birthday and in the midst of complaining about the service and the fact that our pizza took 40 minutes to come out and was cold and that the mouse didn't bring out the cake like we asked, i end up realizing that the manager is kinda hot and later start hitting on her. chuck e cheeses's. sheesh.
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