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friday, december 11, 1998, 17:48 it's been so very long. and i'm still not done. two finals down today, one okay, one not so good. i was up all last night studying ("studying") for this jazz thing, something about modernism and the harlem renaissance and really should i have been reading that the night before the final and fudging my way through a semester's worth of listening that i should have been doing but done i was not (not even started). so that test went okay i think. and then i had another one in there for that business course and while that went well too i think it took four hours three of which were writing and the other which was basically screwing around because this was the most bizarre test ever taken in my life. let's not even call it an exam. let's call it a party with answers. because there was talking and walking and leaving and sharing of papers and really it should have been a takehome test because then i could have at least written it on the computer and have been done with it. but that's done now too. but am i done? surely i joust. and do i care? see, here's the problematic thing is that i really don't really don't care about school right now (which i'm sure is making my parents and their $xxx tuition shit a brick) but really it's true and i feel badly about the fact that i've got another semester that i'm going to muddle through more for the friends and the experience than for the classes. but senior slump does that. that, and dreams of my own space, in a new city, with a dream and (some money) i've got it all planned out but not at all. i mean, really, how do you go about starting up a theatre? i certainly don't know. but i think i can figure it out. and that's what i'm going to try to use this next year of schooling to do. but it'll be hard. but isn't that what they say? "life is hard." or something like that? i think i'm ready for life.
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