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monday, september 7, 1998, 03:58 it's gotten bad enought that i just found myself lying ont he couch, eyes fixed on the television learning about the two extra paychecks a month i could be making handing out phone cards to my friends and family. so bad that i couldn't stand up to turn it off. i've lost my drive, my will to do anything but sit around and brood. lack of sleep, perhaps, but mostly i blame it on the classes which are looming over my head right now. the reason why i'm here to begin with, and honestly, i don't have any desire at all to get my ass in gear to start working. no time, no motivation. i think i'm just in the wrong environment. that, and i need more sleep. i feel that there is so much going on in my life right now, and nothing at all that i'm interested in doing. i was all excited for this summer's work, but now that school is upon me again, and i'm trying to meld those two lives, i realize that it's just not going to happen and i'm going to be stuck dropping something. and i was thinking that this year would be any different. ha!
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