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wednesday, april 29, 1998, 05:25 been a while, hasn't it? every time i sit down to write, i think about how much i have to say, and i get so discouraged that i just fall asleep. so i'll just keep it short or something. the show almost killed me. but it turned out okay in the end. i fixed what i had to fix. i took the time i needed, i made it turn out well, and while it didn't turn out as i wanted, it never the less proved to me that the magic in theatre comes not from having a flawless production, but from having an audience to take part in what you've been creating. past that, i had the dance show. two pieces. one, never seen, not much interest. and i watched it again tonight for teh dress rehearsal, and i really didn't like it. i didn't like what happened to it, i didn't like how it turned out. the second piece, on the other hand, where the choreographer actually seemed to want to work with me on concept and the like, turned out really well. i had more of a stake in it, and as i watched it tonight, i saw that it was something that i could be proud of. which brings me fast forward to tonight where, when laying in a pile of clothes, through the muddle of sleep, i hear the phone ringing. answering it, a friend of mine. "Do you want to go for a walk?" Confusion sets it from having just woken up and i cut through the muddle and sure. why not. walking around, past the outskirts of campus, down the hill, across the hill, up the hill, around parts of campus i'd never been before, ending up back here. finally. out from the cold. talking. talking for the first time in a long time with another person who actually seemed to want to hear what i was saying and who actually wanted to talk back and share with me. quite nice and enjoyable, though detrimental to my sleep patterns, i now stare out the window now that she's gone and i write this, realizing that i need to keep writing or my brain will rot but knowing too that the sun is coming up, the birds are singing, and i have to go to class in a few hours. which eliminates "a"... ha ha. sondheim joke.
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