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saturday, march 7, 1998, 01:23 I was hoping that with one night of hell, I would be through and that I could get back to some sort of semblance of a real life. I was mistaken. Not only did I completely ruin today by staying up all last night to work on the projects that were due (which didn't even get finished), but I've got to go back and keep working on said projects, as well as everything else that I've been putting off up till now. Not that I have anybody to blame but myself, but still, it is frustrating to know that I have all this work to do and very little hope of actually being able to finish all of it. And tomorrow I have to (hopefully) wake up at seven in order to get to the theatre by eight so I can go over the proposals so i can be ready for the meeting at nine which will last until the cows come home. If not later. And I'm still confused about that whole social life thing. All of this work has pretty much meant that I can't really think of being social at all, and yet it's always on my mind. Trying to read people, trying to read situations. My roommate walked of earlier, without a word. Not that I have any say in what he does or where he goes, but he didn't look happy, which, if nothing more than a selfish matter, means that he'll come back here and be not too happy which in turn will bring the overall happiness in the suite down a couple of notches. Which is precisely what I don't need right now. Now toss on top of that a conversation that i had with Sarah tonight. We both noticed that there's very little room for conversation in friendships here at school. For some reason, the conversations that I used to have in hight schoolwith friends sitting in their basements while the parents were asleep upstairs talking about anything that came to mind, from dinosaurs to robotics, dna, what we're going to do when we grow up where we are going to be and why the sky is blue just doesn't happen any more. People just aren't willing to talk, either about themselves or about anything else. Is it just a case of comfort? People not being comfrotable with each other? Or is it a matter of it being a waste of time? Or maybe people don't think that it's important. I do know that it is very difficult to go and get conversation, discussion like that. Of course when you sart talking to someone, really start talking, then you end up with stake in what they have to say. And you have to start caring. And it's so hard to care. It's a scary thing to start caring.
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