|
sunday, february 15, 1998, 02:37 wow. an early one. relatively speaking, of course. valentine's day is normally supposed to be this awful day where i sit around and wear black and get all depressed because there are millions of people out there in the world who are happier than i am on this day. this year was a different story. first of all, this day started after four hours of sleep to awaken at six thirty on a saturday morning to "don't you forget about me" (you know, the theme song from the breakfast club) which managed to throw some weirdness into my day, that whole getting up early on saturday for school kind of thing to talk to the board of trustees of the corporation behind this fine institute of higher learning which i am making my home for four years to address them on issues of the theatre arts here. i woke up early to talk to some people about how i never get any sleep because i'm always in the theatre. but it was fun, and these people seemed genuinely interested in what we had to say. fell asleep for about an hour after that, did some of the normal day stuff, like laundry, went to the theatre and watched some women prance around stage in their underwear, then the fun began. ... i'm trying to craft the words right now, but nothing's coming out. suffice it to say that i had two options for the night. i could have gone to see for the second time, a long movie about a large boat and the people aboard said boat which would probably only serve to depress me because not only is there a love story in this movie, but it also doesn't really turn out to be all that happy which isn't really something that you want to see on valentine's day. on the other hand, i could have gone to see a movie based on a book that i really liked about a big ball in a spaceship that's discovered at the bottom of the ocean which serves to fuck shit up by tapping into peoples' subsonscious and manifesting those fears as reality. it was pretty much a no-brainer. i'd say that the most difficult part of this night, though, was having my hands so close to the hands of another, sitting on the same armrest, just longing to shuffle over and hold her hand, to feel each finger between my fingers, to touch, to feel the coolness of her palm, the feeling as our palms meshed together and the webbing between our fingers pushed up against each other. Yeah, that was pretty rough. That was also just a dream, and one that will not be manifested in my reality for quite some time i'd wager. no matter. it was a good day, a good night (since the people who were going off to see that boat movie instead ended up back in the suite watching some movie about some bridges in some county somewhere), and i didn't once think of how lonely i am at this point in my life. okay, fine. maybe once.
|