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monday, january 12, 1998, 03:29 the day. not a complete waste, though i didn't get as much done as i had hoped. got up late, went to the theatre, cleaned up a bit. organized some stuff, put together some booms, and was thinking about starting on the costume rack, when i noticed that the pipes that I bought just aren't going to work, so I'm going to have to call the pipe company and see if i can replace them, and figure out... argh. so after futzing around in there (you know, painting some windowsill, spackling some wall, organizing some costume room), it was 6 hours later and i realized that i was hungry. and what does one do when one is hungry? well, if one is prone to that sort of thing, one heads over to the computer lab. duh. talked to some folk to plan some stuff, ended up meeting up with some folk for a fun filled trip to get some wings (big mistake, gastrointestinally), and again, as i was with cs majors, was reminded that those who value the web are worthless, and that the web should be destroyed. alas. woe is me. anyway. finished watching Zardoz, did some of the x-files bit, with hecklers and all, which probably ruined the mood. I'll admit to doing a bit of the heckling, and, in retrospect, can't really tell if my words were coming from a genuine need to comment on the show, or if it was just my trying to fit in. So strange not being able to get a grasp of one's own reasoning for one's actions. some more work, some hanging out in the spoc office. And boy did I feel a bit out of place there. Well, a bit. I don't know. You see, everyone else around, in the cs department, has some "legit" reason for being there. Everyone has a card to get into the building, everyone has a key for the elevators, and most importantly, everyone has a place they should be. I, on the other hand, find that I do not. And it's true. Now, I really have no real reason for being on any node in the department, since there's really no department work that I'm supposed to be doing. This, in itself, really doesn't make a difference to me, but it's more of a feeling of imposition, as well as one of just general awkwardness stemming from the "outsider" factor. Much self imposed, much not. But hey, given the option of working on a sparc or a mac or pc, i'd take the sparc anyday. Well, almost anyday. At least these days. ...
he pauses. looks around. notices the house quiet. the music has
stopped. he presses play on the stereo again and the cd spins up.
something. something is wrong. ah, right. the housemate is not around.
peculiar. should he be worried, or not. it's more of a statement than a
question. there's nothing he can do about it now, and he's got to get
ready for bed. bed. with few blankets and even less heat.
gets himself ready and turns out the light. as he drifts off to sleep, he
hears the cars pass by, on the streets below. one. that one. the car.
slows. slows. stops.
outside? perhaps. voices. doors slamming. more voices. loud? angry?
or not. it doesn't seem to matter.
the world slips away, as a cloud of darkness falls around him.
until.
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